So last night was extremely interesting and further evidence as to why I should not live so close to a bar. I'm ridiculous sometimes. As a buddy of mine puts it, "you need to take it down a notch". I suppose he's right sometimes.
First off, I should begin with the story of the Mormon virgin, which is sort of the catalyst to last night's events.
A few years ago I met this German exchange student who took quite a liking to me and began coming by my work to say hello. She is a very attractive woman with a sweet disposition. After chatting a few times however, she revealed the fact she is a Mormon from Germany who's father was a missionary that went to Germany, met her mother, converted her and had this girl.
Of course I quickly distanced myself and made it clear we were never going to go out on a date-period. I tried not to be offensive, but she pressed for a reason for my rejection and it was simply the fact she was Mormon- daughter of Missionaries no less. Those fucking people make me sick. Still, she continued with the visits.
After not having seen her for a while, she randomly called me one night (yes I gave her my number like a dumbass) about a year ago and started going on about how she was 24 and wasn't sure if she could remain celibate, etc. etc. My response was basically "sorry honey, that sounds like a personal problem."
She didn't quite go for that.
Before long, she started sending what she considered "dirty" texts that were very amusing to say the least. "I want to kiss your neck and have you grab my breasts" Very funny stuff.
She got the hint these weren't enticing me in the slightest so she began sending pictures of herself in her underwear, tight t-shirts, etc.
Then came the pictures of her tits. Then her ass. Then her entire naked body. Her pussy. Her fingers inside her pussy. Shaving. You get the idea.
Needless to say, I was shocked. I couldn't believe such a sexually repressed woman would ever send such graphic pictures, especially to some dude she really didn't know all that well. I even reminded her of that and for whatever reason she found trust in me and basically wanted me to "teach her", as she put it.
It was almost as if those little cartoon devils and angels showed up on my shoulders and debated furiously. Could I REALLY take this girl's virginity knowing I wouldn't ever have anything more to do with her? It simply SOUNDED wrong.
At the same time, I literally felt bad for her. How could a hot girl with a body DESIGNED for fucking go until 24 without doing so?! I mean in some ways, I would be doing her a favor, right? She would finally get that fine ass body of hers satisfied by someone who purportedly knew what he was doing. As she put it, "Mormon boys have no idea what they are doing" and always simply "make out and dry hump for hours".
Still, I knew she actually liked me and I remember the power of your first piece of ass. I simply didn't want the responsibility or blood in my bed.
After all, how fun could it be to fuck a virgin anyways?
I basically told her she couldn't call me anymore and that it wasn't going to happen, etc etc. She stopped contacting me until I literally ran into her a few months ago and she told me how happy she was with this new guy she was seeing. No harm, no foul. I'm sure she never even realized how much damage I could actually do to her life with these pics. Can you imagine if I sent them to her boss (a lobbyist) or worse yet, her church? Poor, naive, Mormon.
(And no I didn't post any of her pics online, in case you are wondering)
UNTIL last night. She started with the pictures again, except this time they were pretty fucking graphic. I'm talking dildos, fishnets and latex. This girl can't REALLY be a virgin, can she?! But of course, she started asking questions about the male anatomy that reinforced the idea she hadn't ever even touched a dick. She even asked if her coochie looked "normal" to me. Then came the "I'm in Berkeley tonight and I just got out of a party. Can I come over?"
Now I am recently sort of out of a relationship of sorts so I simply haven't been much in the mood lately, but I started thinking that's exactly what I needed. STILL, I resisted. I was actually quite proud of myself for doing the "right thing".
Its amazing how a couple hours and a few beers can change things.
Before I know it, I am closing down the bar, playing darts with some MILF, drunk off my ass. The next thing I know, she is in my apartment and the next- well my penis somehow ended up inside her.
Now I have to say, this woman was 43 if I remember correctly but her body was smoking hot! I have been with some women half her age who would envy such a body and of course she had mad skills. The whole older women knowing what they are doing notion has proven true in the few times I've been there. This one epitomized the idea of MILFS. I definitely enjoyed myself.
So we're laying there smoking a post coital bowl when she says "Fuck, I REALLY need to get out of here! I had no idea it was so late. My husband is going to be pissed!"
Cue record scratching.
HUSBAND?!
"Yeah we live right down the street."
WTF?! SERIOUSLY, bitch? You little whore. (the kettle calling the pot black)
I hope I don't run into this woman again, but chances are I will. Note to self: keep away!
That should probably teach me not to slut around and fuck random women from the bar, but it probably won't. Don't get me wrong, I am not really promiscuous or anything, but sometimes a guy has to do what he has to do. At the same time, I am such a hypochondriac, the idea of fucking a stranger should be down right disgusting. Pussy is magic.
I REALLY need to move away from that bar!
Sidenote, completely unrelated: check out this chick's blog:
http://mimiv.tumblr.com/
She is super hilarious and she has problems. She even claims to have great boobs. How can you NOT take a peek?
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Donald the Scientist, iPhones and fat ex's.
So today's conversation with my Indian scientist friend was entertaining as always. We're going to call him "Donald" for storytelling purposes. Donald walks into our break room in his most awkward gait, sporting brown, baggy, polyester pants that appear as though he took a shit in them, complete with a green cardigan sweater similar to the one Kurt Cobain wore in "unplugged". That was probably the last time I watched MTV, which clearly dates me but Donald is a pop culture hound as mentioned in a previous post.
I quickly begin probing: "So what was on MTV this weekend, Donald?"
"Did you see the photographs of Jay-Z and Beyonce on vacation in ---- I don't remember where. They look like they are having a fabulous time with the drinks and the sand. I would like to be with them." he replies (of course in his thick accent).
Immediately, an image of Donald and Jay-Z smoking a blunt and sipping courvoisier came to mind making me giggle. I asked him if he found Beyonce attractive and he shifts in his chair excitedly saying,
"Oh yes, she is a perfect black woman and that ordinarily is not my type."
"Yeah, so what's your type, Donald?" I ask inquisitively. I leave the whole 'perfect black woman' comment alone.
"I like the blondy girls like Heidi Montag before her surgeries" he replies, matter -of- factly.
"HOLY SHIT!" I thought. Now that is an image. Donald and Heidi. HA!
I don't even know what this woman looked like before her surgeries and didn't have a clue who she was before I saw her plastered all over the place recently. What a sad bitch she is- another topic to be discussed at a later time.
"Why do they call him HOVA?" he asks curiously referring to Jay-Z.
"You know I am not sure. I think it has something to do with drug dealing" I answer.
"Oh." he sits quietly for second, pensively looking at me as if waiting to ask a question."Have you ever dealt the drugs?"
"No Donald, that wasn't my thing. I was more into pimping."
His eyes widen as he obviously believes me for some stupid reason. "Really?!"
Just then our secretary walks in and summons him in an urgent tone, and he races out of the room. I have yet to see him since, but I imagine he has spent the last couple hours thinking I am a former pimp. I haven't decided whether I will tell him the truth or not. He is obviously a very gullible man.
Speaking of which, so am I in regards to having bought an iPhone a couple years ago. I feel like I am being bent over on a daily basis. I know its mostly AT&;T but I also wonder how much of it has to do with this fucking phone. I can't finish a conversation if my life depended on it- literally. The other day I tried to call 911 for a man who thought he was having a heart attack, and the fucking thing wouldn't make the call! I had to race into the closest business and use their land line. I swear these things are a joke.
iPhones are like trophy girlfriends- Sleek, sexy, and fun to play with and show off to one's friends. However, when you REALLY need the bitch, its fucking WORTHLESS!
I can't wait to break up with AT&T forever.
Speaking of trophy girlfriends...
So this weekend I finally looked at pics of one of my ex's who ended up marrying this guy and getting knocked up within months of us breaking up. I hadn't any interest in seeing how she was or anything of the sort as she is the only person I have had a relationship with I actively dislike. I wouldn't wish poor luck on any of my ex's except for this one. Sure enough, pregnancy hasn't treated her well.
This bitch is a former wannabe model who put an incredible amount of stock into her appearance when we first moved to the bay area together. It was as if she recognized that in Sacramento she may have been a big deal, but here she is a dime a dozen. That was one of the many things that completely turned me off about her. I wanted to shake her and say "Get off yourself, will ya?!"
Anyways, I saw a pic of her pregnant this weekend and she is fucking HUGE. Her arms look like ham hocks. I find this incredibly hilarious because knowing her, she isn't handling it well. The bitch was the type to make fun of fatties too, so she deserves every comment coming her way. She will probably end up looking like her mother, who walks like a stuffed duck bearing a stupid grin. I can't wait to run into her in public one of these days. HA!
Looking back, she reminds me of a miniature Heidi Montag, but the San Francisco hipster version. She spent so much time on her bitten look that she replicated time and again. She literally wore Ed Hardy shit on a daily basis. She had a "vanity" in the corner of our room so she could spend an hour getting ready. I think that about spells it out.
What was I thinking?!
These poor girls are being pressured and pounded as little girls to jettison their individuality and emulate these little whores who become famous by fucking on camera. Lawrence Fishburne's daughter is a perfect case in point.
Of course it comes down to how we raise our kids. Do we raise them to grow up as sluts (not that there is anything entirely wong with this) or do we teach them temperance? How do we shed our Western sexual hang ups and issues with guilt and religion without crossing the line into American, short sided relationships based on cock sucking and butt fucking?
I don't feel bad for Morpheus for some reason. Something tells me he brought this on himself.
Still, I remind myself daily that I AM NEO. I have dodged so many bullets with women at this point I feel as if I don't have to.
I quickly begin probing: "So what was on MTV this weekend, Donald?"
"Did you see the photographs of Jay-Z and Beyonce on vacation in ---- I don't remember where. They look like they are having a fabulous time with the drinks and the sand. I would like to be with them." he replies (of course in his thick accent).
Immediately, an image of Donald and Jay-Z smoking a blunt and sipping courvoisier came to mind making me giggle. I asked him if he found Beyonce attractive and he shifts in his chair excitedly saying,
"Oh yes, she is a perfect black woman and that ordinarily is not my type."
"Yeah, so what's your type, Donald?" I ask inquisitively. I leave the whole 'perfect black woman' comment alone.
"I like the blondy girls like Heidi Montag before her surgeries" he replies, matter -of- factly.
"HOLY SHIT!" I thought. Now that is an image. Donald and Heidi. HA!
I don't even know what this woman looked like before her surgeries and didn't have a clue who she was before I saw her plastered all over the place recently. What a sad bitch she is- another topic to be discussed at a later time.
"Why do they call him HOVA?" he asks curiously referring to Jay-Z.
"You know I am not sure. I think it has something to do with drug dealing" I answer.
"Oh." he sits quietly for second, pensively looking at me as if waiting to ask a question."Have you ever dealt the drugs?"
"No Donald, that wasn't my thing. I was more into pimping."
His eyes widen as he obviously believes me for some stupid reason. "Really?!"
Just then our secretary walks in and summons him in an urgent tone, and he races out of the room. I have yet to see him since, but I imagine he has spent the last couple hours thinking I am a former pimp. I haven't decided whether I will tell him the truth or not. He is obviously a very gullible man.
Speaking of which, so am I in regards to having bought an iPhone a couple years ago. I feel like I am being bent over on a daily basis. I know its mostly AT&;T but I also wonder how much of it has to do with this fucking phone. I can't finish a conversation if my life depended on it- literally. The other day I tried to call 911 for a man who thought he was having a heart attack, and the fucking thing wouldn't make the call! I had to race into the closest business and use their land line. I swear these things are a joke.
iPhones are like trophy girlfriends- Sleek, sexy, and fun to play with and show off to one's friends. However, when you REALLY need the bitch, its fucking WORTHLESS!
I can't wait to break up with AT&T forever.
Speaking of trophy girlfriends...
So this weekend I finally looked at pics of one of my ex's who ended up marrying this guy and getting knocked up within months of us breaking up. I hadn't any interest in seeing how she was or anything of the sort as she is the only person I have had a relationship with I actively dislike. I wouldn't wish poor luck on any of my ex's except for this one. Sure enough, pregnancy hasn't treated her well.
This bitch is a former wannabe model who put an incredible amount of stock into her appearance when we first moved to the bay area together. It was as if she recognized that in Sacramento she may have been a big deal, but here she is a dime a dozen. That was one of the many things that completely turned me off about her. I wanted to shake her and say "Get off yourself, will ya?!"
Anyways, I saw a pic of her pregnant this weekend and she is fucking HUGE. Her arms look like ham hocks. I find this incredibly hilarious because knowing her, she isn't handling it well. The bitch was the type to make fun of fatties too, so she deserves every comment coming her way. She will probably end up looking like her mother, who walks like a stuffed duck bearing a stupid grin. I can't wait to run into her in public one of these days. HA!
Looking back, she reminds me of a miniature Heidi Montag, but the San Francisco hipster version. She spent so much time on her bitten look that she replicated time and again. She literally wore Ed Hardy shit on a daily basis. She had a "vanity" in the corner of our room so she could spend an hour getting ready. I think that about spells it out.
What was I thinking?!
These poor girls are being pressured and pounded as little girls to jettison their individuality and emulate these little whores who become famous by fucking on camera. Lawrence Fishburne's daughter is a perfect case in point.
Of course it comes down to how we raise our kids. Do we raise them to grow up as sluts (not that there is anything entirely wong with this) or do we teach them temperance? How do we shed our Western sexual hang ups and issues with guilt and religion without crossing the line into American, short sided relationships based on cock sucking and butt fucking?
I don't feel bad for Morpheus for some reason. Something tells me he brought this on himself.
Still, I remind myself daily that I AM NEO. I have dodged so many bullets with women at this point I feel as if I don't have to.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Monday, Pee-Wee and Indian Scientists.
I never used to hate Mondays, but I do now. I'm sorry, but I really don't give a shit what my co-workers did during the weekend, but I sit there listening, eyes glazed over.
However there are a couple scientists here that CRACK ME UP! One of them is a stereotypical, middle aged, Indian guy with a thick accent, fat rimmed glasses and funky 70's style clothing he must have bought when JCPenny's was still in business. The guy literally wears a pocket protector.
He assumes I watch MTV and things of the sort because he asks me if I see "The Situation" do this or that, or if I saw (insert title of TV show here) which of course I don't. I guess he thinks since I am the young guy in the office I must watch this shit. He rambles on excitedly in his thick ass accent, filling me in on the guy who "skipped the massage and went straight for the gential area". Don't ask. I hardly figured out what the hell he was talking about but it involved a handjob I think. Then he tells me for the 32nd time about Lady fucking Gaga and what the song "Alejandro" is REALLY about.
I asked him if he would start calling ME the situation, and he responded "you are no situation, my friend"
Its actually sort of become the highlight of my day. I want to follow this guy home and simply watch HIM for entertainment. He seems to get most of his cues concerning American pop culture through adolescent television programing and radio which clearly paints us out to be pill popping, overtanned, Ed Hardy wearing fuckos. Give him another year, and I think he will be sporting a fo-hawk.
Today's news is relatively entertaining. In regards to Prop 8., the opposition has set forth a new argument supporting the ban on gay marriages:
"The record leaves no doubt, none at all, that California, 44 other states, and the vast majority of countries throughout the world continue to draw the line at marriage because it continues to serve a vital societal interest that is equally ubiquitous – to channel potentially procreative sexual relationships into enduring, stable unions for the sake of responsibly producing and raising the next generation,"
Are they trying to say we won't breed enough if we allow gays to get married?! Seriously?! People are already popping out too many kids as it is!
I dont think this argument is even worth dignifying with a response. Its just plain stupidity.
On a lighter note, Paul Rubens a.k.a Pee Wee Herman recently "proved" he wasn't jacking off in a theatre back in the day because as the police report said, he was jacking off with his left hand. Pee Wee says he is right handed and most people jerk off using their dominant hand. Ever heard of a "STRANGER" Pee Wee?! I thought most people were switch hitters, anyways? I dont think Pee Wee would do very well in law school.
So I dont really know why this Tila Tequilla bitch is famous, but the headline that read " Tila Tequila Attacked With Rocks, Feces At Gathering Of The Juggalos" almost made me piss myself with laughter. They even showed pictures of the broad's fucked up face! I am still trying to figure out how feces was thrown on her! Did someone really shit themselves, pull it out of their pants and fling it like a monkey?! I surely hope so. Usually, laughing at someone who endured this would be an assholish thing to do, but something tells me this bitch probably deserved it. She straight up pulled her shirt off thinking her fake tits would settle the crowd down when all it did was provoke them further- HA!
I guess guys are into this chick, but I would only fuck her if she let me put my foot on her face while doing so.
I saw this pic and couldn't help but post it. While quite funny, I also feel bad for this kid- he's going to cough his little lungs out! That bong is WAY too big for a kid his size!
In sporting news, the English Premier League started this weekend, so on Sundays you will most likely find me hammered and yelling at the TV. I think I may even bust out an adult diaper so I don't have to leave the couch.
These fucking English people are nuts about their football. I gotta make my way to England one of these days just to join them in rioting ove a fucking game of soccer. I'll be in the news for getting my ass kicked, I just know it. Until then it's just the couch,my favorite glass friend and I. You have been warned.
In "basketball news", Lebron James is so big a headline read "Lebron's new teammate arrested" Poor guy. Not only does he get arrested, but he doesnt even have a name, he is soley "Lebron's teammate". Nevermind the dude was on the team before Lebron.
Oh and the A's got beat by the Twins again. C'mon guys, you're starting to fall apart!
On a personal note, I asked this woman out via Facebook the other day which is totally NOT my style, nor should it be anyone's. This girl is fucking hilarious so I figured I would probably get made fun of, but she was pretty cool in her rejection. It turns out she has a boyfriend (figures) and as I suspected, I am not the only dumb ass to make such a move.
I don't know what it is with women lately. The ones I am attracted to put me in the friend zone very quickly and those that are attracted to me I have no interest in. I think the bay area has been cruel to me in this respect. While my style or lack thereof, may look a bit conservative sometimes, my taste in women is anything but. Women here in the bay are so much more attractive given their personal style than they are in place like L.A. It seems to me ladies in the bay dress for themselves, and no one else- not each other, guys, magazines, etc. THAT is so much more attractive than the typical fake blonde with fake breasts, asses and tans. I NEED a little imperfection. It reminds me you're human. The term "I need a sense of humor" has become so cliche I don't think most people understand what it even means. I was recently out on a date with a woman who laughed at everything I said, even when I wasnt trying to make her laugh. Needless to say, I havent called her again. Big tits can only hold my attention for so long.
On the other hand, I was at one of my normal coffee spots when I ran into this woman I see all the time. after some conversation I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime but I didnt mean a date or anything of the sort. She seemed receptive until she just sort of stopped talking to me. Apparently she thought I was trying to get into her pants which I most certaintly was not which ultimately displeased her I guess. Its like we're damned if we do, damned if we dont. If I was trying to get into her pants, I would be labled the guy who just wants pussy but if I dont, I am "wasting her time" as she told a mutual acquaintance.
Oh well.
Am I ever going to find a woman that will happily make fun of me and then let me play with her boobs?
However there are a couple scientists here that CRACK ME UP! One of them is a stereotypical, middle aged, Indian guy with a thick accent, fat rimmed glasses and funky 70's style clothing he must have bought when JCPenny's was still in business. The guy literally wears a pocket protector.
He assumes I watch MTV and things of the sort because he asks me if I see "The Situation" do this or that, or if I saw (insert title of TV show here) which of course I don't. I guess he thinks since I am the young guy in the office I must watch this shit. He rambles on excitedly in his thick ass accent, filling me in on the guy who "skipped the massage and went straight for the gential area". Don't ask. I hardly figured out what the hell he was talking about but it involved a handjob I think. Then he tells me for the 32nd time about Lady fucking Gaga and what the song "Alejandro" is REALLY about.
I asked him if he would start calling ME the situation, and he responded "you are no situation, my friend"
Its actually sort of become the highlight of my day. I want to follow this guy home and simply watch HIM for entertainment. He seems to get most of his cues concerning American pop culture through adolescent television programing and radio which clearly paints us out to be pill popping, overtanned, Ed Hardy wearing fuckos. Give him another year, and I think he will be sporting a fo-hawk.
Today's news is relatively entertaining. In regards to Prop 8., the opposition has set forth a new argument supporting the ban on gay marriages:
"The record leaves no doubt, none at all, that California, 44 other states, and the vast majority of countries throughout the world continue to draw the line at marriage because it continues to serve a vital societal interest that is equally ubiquitous – to channel potentially procreative sexual relationships into enduring, stable unions for the sake of responsibly producing and raising the next generation,"
Are they trying to say we won't breed enough if we allow gays to get married?! Seriously?! People are already popping out too many kids as it is!
I dont think this argument is even worth dignifying with a response. Its just plain stupidity.
On a lighter note, Paul Rubens a.k.a Pee Wee Herman recently "proved" he wasn't jacking off in a theatre back in the day because as the police report said, he was jacking off with his left hand. Pee Wee says he is right handed and most people jerk off using their dominant hand. Ever heard of a "STRANGER" Pee Wee?! I thought most people were switch hitters, anyways? I dont think Pee Wee would do very well in law school.
I guess guys are into this chick, but I would only fuck her if she let me put my foot on her face while doing so.
I saw this pic and couldn't help but post it. While quite funny, I also feel bad for this kid- he's going to cough his little lungs out! That bong is WAY too big for a kid his size!
In sporting news, the English Premier League started this weekend, so on Sundays you will most likely find me hammered and yelling at the TV. I think I may even bust out an adult diaper so I don't have to leave the couch.
These fucking English people are nuts about their football. I gotta make my way to England one of these days just to join them in rioting ove a fucking game of soccer. I'll be in the news for getting my ass kicked, I just know it. Until then it's just the couch,my favorite glass friend and I. You have been warned.
In "basketball news", Lebron James is so big a headline read "Lebron's new teammate arrested" Poor guy. Not only does he get arrested, but he doesnt even have a name, he is soley "Lebron's teammate". Nevermind the dude was on the team before Lebron.
Oh and the A's got beat by the Twins again. C'mon guys, you're starting to fall apart!
On a personal note, I asked this woman out via Facebook the other day which is totally NOT my style, nor should it be anyone's. This girl is fucking hilarious so I figured I would probably get made fun of, but she was pretty cool in her rejection. It turns out she has a boyfriend (figures) and as I suspected, I am not the only dumb ass to make such a move.
I don't know what it is with women lately. The ones I am attracted to put me in the friend zone very quickly and those that are attracted to me I have no interest in. I think the bay area has been cruel to me in this respect. While my style or lack thereof, may look a bit conservative sometimes, my taste in women is anything but. Women here in the bay are so much more attractive given their personal style than they are in place like L.A. It seems to me ladies in the bay dress for themselves, and no one else- not each other, guys, magazines, etc. THAT is so much more attractive than the typical fake blonde with fake breasts, asses and tans. I NEED a little imperfection. It reminds me you're human. The term "I need a sense of humor" has become so cliche I don't think most people understand what it even means. I was recently out on a date with a woman who laughed at everything I said, even when I wasnt trying to make her laugh. Needless to say, I havent called her again. Big tits can only hold my attention for so long.
On the other hand, I was at one of my normal coffee spots when I ran into this woman I see all the time. after some conversation I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime but I didnt mean a date or anything of the sort. She seemed receptive until she just sort of stopped talking to me. Apparently she thought I was trying to get into her pants which I most certaintly was not which ultimately displeased her I guess. Its like we're damned if we do, damned if we dont. If I was trying to get into her pants, I would be labled the guy who just wants pussy but if I dont, I am "wasting her time" as she told a mutual acquaintance.
Oh well.
Am I ever going to find a woman that will happily make fun of me and then let me play with her boobs?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Reasons to be Angry
I guess right now I have a bunch of em. Shit, I just read the news- can you blame me?
Crusades of 2010
I think perhaps the most enraging article discussed the fact that many Americans are protesting the newly proposed Mosque to be built near Ground Zero. One only need surf the net a couple minutes to see the hate-filled rhetoric and protests, decrying the notion that Muslims may enjoy some of the rights extended to Christians, Protestants, Lutherans, and even Scientologists. This pic pretty much sums it up:
I mean seriously, woman? SERIOUSLY?! VICTORY Mosque?! WTF?!
Some idiotic fellow Americans STILL fail to grasp the notion that Muslims and 9/11 have nothing to do with one another. These are the same ignorant motherfuckers who forget most of the terrorists from that day were Saudis, continually calling for blood in Iraq and Afghanistan.
These people clearly don't know or care how insulting and incendiary their comments are to the millions of Muslims who have never supported or even met a terrorist.
Ethnic Cleansing in 2010
How about immigration? Are we REALLY discussing this again? Is our view of history really THAT myopic?! Does anyone remember a bastard by the name of Pete Wilson?!
Well I guess we have to clear it up for the ignorant- AGAIN. Listen this time, OK? You ready?
California's biggest source of revenue is AGRICULTURE. Number 2 is tourism and number 3 is entertainment and so on.
Who works in the fields that produces agriculture? Who works in the hotels we stay at and who cleans the bathrooms in Disneyland? Do they happen to be brown most of the time? I think so. Our entire fucking economy is based on laborers and you want to kick them all out?! Forget about the moral and political implications of such stupidity, but simply take into account our economy. Are we really THAT stupid?
In the words of Jack White:
white Americans, what?
nothing better to do?
why don't you kick yourself out
you're an immigrant too.
who's using who? what should we do?
well, you can't be a pimp
and a prostitute too.
To make things worse, some politicians are now calling for the repeal of the 14th Amendment because our founding fathers must have been fucking crazy to allow those born here to be automatic citizens, right? While this SHOULD seem like a ludicrous idea, some are actually considering it. Can you imagine if someone actually suggested we repeal the Second Amendment; the right to bear arms?! These fuckers would shit themselves.
I smell flags burning somewhere off in the distance.
Fascism in 2010
While Prop 8 was repealed, I still don't have faith in our state to do the right thing when it comes to recognizing homosexuals as equals. I simply do not see it happening in the near future, given our constant slaughtering of true individualism and expression. While we technically have multiple political parties, we have reverted to a centrist, nationalistic, corporate friendly state. We have failed to educate our children about the pitfalls of racism, prejudice and greed. Status is all that matters.
To put this into context, consider this:
I was playing a pick up soccer game in Berkeley the other day and I heard someone call another guy a faggot. Yup, in Berkeley. A faggot. You read that correctly.
Prejudice and Racism are alive and well in California.
Lady Gaga
Madonna, will you please come beat this woman? Who does she think she is, trying to be you?!
How is this Abercrombie-wearing, catholic school- attending, Bjork- biting bitch selling one record, much less millions?! Is it me, or is she just a little contrived?
Who told her she was sexy?
I heard somewhere she was a hermaphrodite. MAYBE THEN I would fuck her.
I saw a fat girl wearing some fishnets and a Lady Gaga t-shirt yesterday with her ass hanging out of some pleather pants rocking out on the BART and it occurred to me that these kids don't have anything to be proud of in terms of their generations' contribution to art. If this bitch is really making it, The New Kids on the Block and Vanilla Ice aren't really all THAT embarrassing.
"Work"
I play soccer for the state of California. Thats about all I do for a living. Since our legislators cannot get their shit together and pass a budget again, I do about 5 minutes of actual work a day. Its worse than the movie "Office Space", especially since I have no cool Indian friend or IT guy with whom to murder copiers.
The scientists here fart on me- enough said.
I don't think I have actually earned a paycheck in the last six months. Welcome to working for the state of CA. If we want to start kicking worthless people out of the state, lets start with my office.
Speaking of which, I shall go to a meeting now, where I will waste your tax dollars discussing things we have discussed three times already.
Wyclef
What a douche bag this fucking guy is! Instead of spending so much cash on gaining power and prestige, why doesn't the fucker work under the radar, supporting grass roots programs and political causes for his people? Why does he have to join the club of "look at me" artists? I hope his presidency is better than his song that postulates the notion.
Crusades of 2010
I think perhaps the most enraging article discussed the fact that many Americans are protesting the newly proposed Mosque to be built near Ground Zero. One only need surf the net a couple minutes to see the hate-filled rhetoric and protests, decrying the notion that Muslims may enjoy some of the rights extended to Christians, Protestants, Lutherans, and even Scientologists. This pic pretty much sums it up:
I mean seriously, woman? SERIOUSLY?! VICTORY Mosque?! WTF?!
Some idiotic fellow Americans STILL fail to grasp the notion that Muslims and 9/11 have nothing to do with one another. These are the same ignorant motherfuckers who forget most of the terrorists from that day were Saudis, continually calling for blood in Iraq and Afghanistan.
These people clearly don't know or care how insulting and incendiary their comments are to the millions of Muslims who have never supported or even met a terrorist.
Ethnic Cleansing in 2010
How about immigration? Are we REALLY discussing this again? Is our view of history really THAT myopic?! Does anyone remember a bastard by the name of Pete Wilson?!
Well I guess we have to clear it up for the ignorant- AGAIN. Listen this time, OK? You ready?
California's biggest source of revenue is AGRICULTURE. Number 2 is tourism and number 3 is entertainment and so on.
Who works in the fields that produces agriculture? Who works in the hotels we stay at and who cleans the bathrooms in Disneyland? Do they happen to be brown most of the time? I think so. Our entire fucking economy is based on laborers and you want to kick them all out?! Forget about the moral and political implications of such stupidity, but simply take into account our economy. Are we really THAT stupid?
In the words of Jack White:
white Americans, what?
nothing better to do?
why don't you kick yourself out
you're an immigrant too.
who's using who? what should we do?
well, you can't be a pimp
and a prostitute too.
To make things worse, some politicians are now calling for the repeal of the 14th Amendment because our founding fathers must have been fucking crazy to allow those born here to be automatic citizens, right? While this SHOULD seem like a ludicrous idea, some are actually considering it. Can you imagine if someone actually suggested we repeal the Second Amendment; the right to bear arms?! These fuckers would shit themselves.
I smell flags burning somewhere off in the distance.
Fascism in 2010
While Prop 8 was repealed, I still don't have faith in our state to do the right thing when it comes to recognizing homosexuals as equals. I simply do not see it happening in the near future, given our constant slaughtering of true individualism and expression. While we technically have multiple political parties, we have reverted to a centrist, nationalistic, corporate friendly state. We have failed to educate our children about the pitfalls of racism, prejudice and greed. Status is all that matters.
To put this into context, consider this:
I was playing a pick up soccer game in Berkeley the other day and I heard someone call another guy a faggot. Yup, in Berkeley. A faggot. You read that correctly.
Prejudice and Racism are alive and well in California.
Lady Gaga
Madonna, will you please come beat this woman? Who does she think she is, trying to be you?!
How is this Abercrombie-wearing, catholic school- attending, Bjork- biting bitch selling one record, much less millions?! Is it me, or is she just a little contrived?
Who told her she was sexy?
I heard somewhere she was a hermaphrodite. MAYBE THEN I would fuck her.
I saw a fat girl wearing some fishnets and a Lady Gaga t-shirt yesterday with her ass hanging out of some pleather pants rocking out on the BART and it occurred to me that these kids don't have anything to be proud of in terms of their generations' contribution to art. If this bitch is really making it, The New Kids on the Block and Vanilla Ice aren't really all THAT embarrassing.
"Work"
I play soccer for the state of California. Thats about all I do for a living. Since our legislators cannot get their shit together and pass a budget again, I do about 5 minutes of actual work a day. Its worse than the movie "Office Space", especially since I have no cool Indian friend or IT guy with whom to murder copiers.
The scientists here fart on me- enough said.
I don't think I have actually earned a paycheck in the last six months. Welcome to working for the state of CA. If we want to start kicking worthless people out of the state, lets start with my office.
Speaking of which, I shall go to a meeting now, where I will waste your tax dollars discussing things we have discussed three times already.
Wyclef
What a douche bag this fucking guy is! Instead of spending so much cash on gaining power and prestige, why doesn't the fucker work under the radar, supporting grass roots programs and political causes for his people? Why does he have to join the club of "look at me" artists? I hope his presidency is better than his song that postulates the notion.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Boxes.
I suppose I should start this here blog by explaining the title. First off, this is not intended to bitch about my lack of friends. This definitely isn’t of the self-help variety either. In fact, if you want to feel better about yourself after reading this, you should probably stop now and move on to Tony Robbins or something. I am the antithesis of that character. In reading this, you will most likely think I am an asshole or some kind of misanthrope with an agenda. There is no purpose to this other than to have a laugh at the expense of others and myself. Chances are I will be the only one amused. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Again, my issues do not lie with the quantity of friends in my life, having always been able to make friendly acquaintances with which I can share a joint or have a beer. The issue lies in my overall connection with folks in this area as it seems everyone fits neatly into their little box, compartmentalized among the other seemingly different boxes. After a while however, all one sees is a wall of cardboard.
There is the hipster box which can be interchangeably mixed with the young hippie one. While everyone has an inner hipster spirit, one must discern between silly impulses to wear something chic and sheer stupidity. Hipsters ignore the former and prance around town in their ultra cool glasses (for which most do not actually have a prescription), cool colored hair, hats, hard soled boots and skinny jeans. Tattoos are more ubiquitous than Mexicans on the Mission and you will find many of these folks
I have no use for these people.
While seemingly “cool” and “down”, MANY of these folks have no idea what counter culture is, just as alternative music sprung onto pop culture like a virus. Eventually everything was alternative. To what, I am still befuddled. How can one be alternative to anything if they look and act like everyone else in their environment? How the FUCK does Nickelback have a career?!
There are countless twelve year old boxes out there with hefty allowances supporting corporations imitating sub cultures in order to make a buck, the whole time diluting what generations before us worked so hard to achieve. The generation from the civil rights movement produced a spoiled, apathetic, lazy and myopic population of degenerate kids with no concept of sacrifice or principal. Now we look at a white kid with “dreads” wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt and call him a hippie, using words like “epic”. The shit makes me nauseous. As a side note- so does B.O. masked by Patchouli. Smelling like ass is not environmentalism. Its hard not to call bullshit on some of these posers sometimes.
In relegating people's character to boxes, I recognize the irony, hypocrisy, extremism; whatever you want to call it, in what I am saying. There is an entire other line of posers here who are so extreme, they can't even be classified in a political/social box. To these people, living any other way than they choose is unforgivable. These are the ones who publicly scold strangers for not bringing their own coffee mug into the shop in the morning rather than waste another cup. They come to your house, take a shit and then don't flush the toilet in the name of saving water.
I briefly dated one of these recently. I tried to look past all the crap because she really is a sweet, brilliant person with a lot to offer some guy or gal out there. First, someone has to scratch through all the fancy paint and I have no desire to be that person. I am not a Death Cab for Cutie fan at all, but I do appreciate the lyrics to the song "Tiny Vessels": Yeah she was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me.
Without allowing one's self to see human beings as they are, and not a box, he limits himself to truly getting to know others in a significant, lasting manner. At the same time, I can count my best friends on one hand and I like it that way. One of them is even a fucking Republican, but that is a discussion for another day.
I fit into Berkeley spectacularly.
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