So its been a while since I have posted, and I suppose its because I have been spending a lot of time getting drunk with my new roommates. I really lucked out when it comes to these two as we seem to have hella fun together. I suppose the only negative aspect of the situation is that we all drink- a lot. I have only been there 10 days, but 9 out of those days I have spent shit faced. This is not a good thing, as I have been trying to cut back on my drinking, not accelerate it. I have simply reduced it to the house being in a "honeymoon" period.
Anyways, last weekend I partied with them at their favorite bar down the street, along with a number of lesbians. After getting home one night, I get a text that says "Hey babe! My friend thinks you're hot. Can I give her your number?"
I had no clue who she was talking about, so I asked my roommate if she knew who this text was from.
Her response was "she's so and so. She's OK, just your average chick. "
I asked if she was hot and she says, "No, not really. I mean you wouldn't have to put a bag over her head to fuck her or anything"
See why I love my new roomies?
So I told the woman I would be at the bar that night and that I would meet her friend then because I didn't remember her. She agreed, and the next thing I know I am getting texts from another girl, apparently the friend. All day she continues texting me until I got to the bar and my roomie comes up and says "Um, there is a little mix up. That girl that has been texting you thought she was texting another chick. Somehow she got your number instead of the lesbian she was really interested in."
Of course this girl wasn't there because she was so embarrassed, which I found hysterical.
I mean she was making it clear she wanted to get to know the person she thought she was talking to, only to be sending sweet texts to some dude. No biggie, right?
After clearing this up we had plenty of jokes at her expense (after having convinced her to come out) to which she finally got upset about and left in a huff. She was super uptight as it was and to top it off, the woman she was after was not interested in the slightest.
I should have known when she used the word "hot" to describe me that she was confused in who she was actually communicating with- that's not a common word used to describing me.
I think it would have been hilarious if she would have said, "send me a picture of your tits". While I would have thought it was strange, I probably would have complied with her request and sent her pics of my man nipples. If she said, "send me a picture of some sort, surprise me" expecting a hoo ha shot, she would have gotten back a text with a picture of my cock, bearing the word, "Surprise!". Even better, if she said "send me a pic of your ass" and I sent a pic of a man butt?! Oh how I missed out on a wonderful opportunity to "sext" with a lesbian!
This morning I was on the bus and a tiny, tiny little person came on, having trouble even getting up the stairs and into a seat. She is easily the smallest person I have ever seen.
I don't know what the etiquette on little people is, but I am pretty sure you are not supposed to pat them on the head or pick them up, right?
The bus driver was clearly trying to help her as she got off the bus and I have no doubt his intentions were good, but he straight up PICKED HER UP like she was a child, or dog or something. I could not believe my eyes!
Of course I immediately call my friend who is also fascinated by midgets and he immediately says, "Did you try to fuck her?"
I was going to reply with hostility until I realized I probably would have tried if she was younger. This is definitely on my "to-do" list.
Of course he took it a step further and said his fantasy involved dressing up like Mad Mordigan from the movie "Willow" and dress "it" up as one of the dwarfs in the movie and role play.
I think this is why we are friends, despite the fact he is a disgusting Republican. I have known him longer than I knew what politics was, so I guess I gotta keep him around. It is conversations like these that remind me why.
For those of you that love Donald the Scientist as much as I do, I regret to say I have not had many interactions with him until this morning when he asked why I hadn't taken a vacation in a while. "Hey Guy (he always calls me 'guy') I see you here every day, why are you never on vacation?" Random question, right? I told him its because my life is basically a vacation. I then lamented the fact that I won't be able to go to baseball spring training this year because Arizona's punk ass, racist government to which he replied, "You should go on Spring Break like on the television shows. Hot, hot, hot weather AND hot bodies!"
I couldn't help it this time, I started cracking up because he probably has the worst body one could imagine. There is nothing remotely attractive about this man, from his dirty teeth to his awkward gait. Its hard to imagine this man as a sexual being, but he clearly is.
I will have to provoke more interactions with him as my days have been missing him lately.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Agro Mutt at a gay bar and a Christian with a sword.
So I must start off my saying : GO GIANTS! The World Fucking Series! I cannot wait! The bay area seems to be full of electricity- well at least among us baseball fans.
Anyways, this weekend was relatively entertaining. I should start off by saying that I am moving this next week which is a bitch, but I am very much looking forward to it. First off, I am going to save almost half my current rent which will either be saved, squandered or both. I am also going to be moving in with two new roomies which is quite welcomed, considering the fact these two seem awesome. I do know, however that things can change quickly when living with others. It has been a little while for me, so it will take some getting used to.
The first roomie is around my age, and is writing her dissertation in psychology so I imagine she will have a hell of a time using me as an observation tool and entertainment. She drinks, smokes, cusses like me and her girlfriend is pretty rad herself. I seem to do well with lesbians.
The other one is a guy who works at some fancy schmancy restaurant downtown, and he seems way laid back, well traveled and started off with a warning: "So I drink. I pretty much always have a bottle of bourbon or absinthe in the house, so I hope that isn't a problem. I am not an alcoholic or anything."
Sure he is.
Who keeps those two particular drinks at their disposal at all times? Alcoholics. And people in the service industry.
Something tells me we are all going to be just fine together.
So, this weekend I met the female one- we shall call her Shari- for drinks at her favorite dyke bar. Before five in the afternoon I was fucking hammered. I ended up stumbling home, wrote some incomprehensible garbage about killer teenage poets and fell asleep reading the Marque De Sade's, "Juliet". Man, that is one sick man.
On Friday however, I was hanging out and found this huge dog wandering around cold and wet. I called his tag number but it was disconnected. The animal shelter was closed. Fuck.
I ended up taking him inside, drying him off and then taking him to get some cans of dog food which he sorely needed.
I remembered Shari's favorite bar was dog friendly, so I took him over there, as he seemed friendly and desperate for attention. Everything was fine until the Giants won. Everyone in the bar blows up in celebration and this animal goes fucking crazy. Just as Shari's gf was running out of the bathroom cheering the dog lunged at her, growling, trying to bite her. Luckily I had the fucker by his collar so he didn't make it but I had to get him out of there. So there I am On a Saturday night with the Giants game on, in the rain with an agro mutt. fuck me.
Luckily my friend Dr. C rolled by and took me to the pound to drop him off at the night drop. By Sunday I had called and he was returned home.
So completely unrelated: Check out this article. Let me know what you think? Does this actually do the normal, rational thinking world a favor? I mean these people are analogous to right wing republican radicals that hardly anyone (with a brain) listens to. Then again, Glen Beck is still fucking alive.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/24/catholic-blogs-aim-to-pur_n_773168.html
Look at this guy's photo, too- Doesn't he just look like he is BEGGING to get fucked up the ass?! Irony is a motherfucker.
Anyways, this weekend was relatively entertaining. I should start off by saying that I am moving this next week which is a bitch, but I am very much looking forward to it. First off, I am going to save almost half my current rent which will either be saved, squandered or both. I am also going to be moving in with two new roomies which is quite welcomed, considering the fact these two seem awesome. I do know, however that things can change quickly when living with others. It has been a little while for me, so it will take some getting used to.
The first roomie is around my age, and is writing her dissertation in psychology so I imagine she will have a hell of a time using me as an observation tool and entertainment. She drinks, smokes, cusses like me and her girlfriend is pretty rad herself. I seem to do well with lesbians.
The other one is a guy who works at some fancy schmancy restaurant downtown, and he seems way laid back, well traveled and started off with a warning: "So I drink. I pretty much always have a bottle of bourbon or absinthe in the house, so I hope that isn't a problem. I am not an alcoholic or anything."
Sure he is.
Who keeps those two particular drinks at their disposal at all times? Alcoholics. And people in the service industry.
Something tells me we are all going to be just fine together.
So, this weekend I met the female one- we shall call her Shari- for drinks at her favorite dyke bar. Before five in the afternoon I was fucking hammered. I ended up stumbling home, wrote some incomprehensible garbage about killer teenage poets and fell asleep reading the Marque De Sade's, "Juliet". Man, that is one sick man.
On Friday however, I was hanging out and found this huge dog wandering around cold and wet. I called his tag number but it was disconnected. The animal shelter was closed. Fuck.
I ended up taking him inside, drying him off and then taking him to get some cans of dog food which he sorely needed.
I remembered Shari's favorite bar was dog friendly, so I took him over there, as he seemed friendly and desperate for attention. Everything was fine until the Giants won. Everyone in the bar blows up in celebration and this animal goes fucking crazy. Just as Shari's gf was running out of the bathroom cheering the dog lunged at her, growling, trying to bite her. Luckily I had the fucker by his collar so he didn't make it but I had to get him out of there. So there I am On a Saturday night with the Giants game on, in the rain with an agro mutt. fuck me.
Luckily my friend Dr. C rolled by and took me to the pound to drop him off at the night drop. By Sunday I had called and he was returned home.
So completely unrelated: Check out this article. Let me know what you think? Does this actually do the normal, rational thinking world a favor? I mean these people are analogous to right wing republican radicals that hardly anyone (with a brain) listens to. Then again, Glen Beck is still fucking alive.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/24/catholic-blogs-aim-to-pur_n_773168.html
Look at this guy's photo, too- Doesn't he just look like he is BEGGING to get fucked up the ass?! Irony is a motherfucker.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Almost beaten up, beaten up, befriended by a bum.
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Thursday, September 23, 2010
DEPRESSION
Depression is a motherfucker. I have always known I was prone to changing moods, being a relatively emotional and sensitive person, (despite my thick skin and verbal lashings) but this is bullshit. Things shouldn't be so difficult. I really don't have much to complain about. I am also not dealing with it as I know how. I genuinely care about people and their feelings, yet I choose to make light of the various pains and tribulations life throws one's way. That's how I deal with things.
Lately however, I can't seem to find humor or joy in this rut that has become my life. Each day has been bleeding into the next one and I couldn't care less whether its Tuesday or Friday. I know tomorrow will be the same. I have also recognized an apathy in me I have never felt before. I just don't give a fuck. I don't even know why, but I feel as though I am willingly taking a sideline approach to my existence yet I don't even care about getting into the game.
This is all somewhat ironic given the fact I have made an effort at getting out there and doing more with myself in social, economic and artistic manner. Other than not auditioning for shit like I should, I am doing exactly what I set out to do in this period of my life. Why do I feel so empty sometimes?
I recognize these are "normal" feelings and that everyone experiences ups and downs, yet I wonder if mine are more radical than most. Some days (like today) it is a straight up STRUGGLE to even get out of bed in the morning, and it isn't because I want to sleep in. It almost physically hurts sometimes.
I feel as though I am bitching and whining about nothing in particular, yet I know some of you out there have similar experiences which reminds me that as human beings, we have been blessed with such a wide range of emotions that allow us to love, hate and cry over every day happenings. In this we are separated from the other animals. Sometimes, however I wish I was a dog.
Speaking of dogs, it seems lately I have been obsessed with getting one. Perhaps its the perpetual loneliness, isolation or basic lack of interest in people that drives this desire. Maybe I just want an excuse to go on more walks with another being. While I normally have no issues with company, I haven't been connecting with most people the way I am accustomed to which leaves me with a vacant, lonely feeling I can't seem to shake. It doesn't help that I don't really let that many people in.
I have also had this nagging hamstring injury that doesn't allow me to play soccer or have any other physical outlet besides sex which almost always comes with strings and bullshit attached.
Maybe I am simply emotionally unavailable...?
Now comes the anger. Anger with myself for being such a whiny bitch. Anger with my shitty, apathetic, self indulging, self important, meow meow attitude.. Anger with the fact that I know I am spoiled and have many natural gifts and talents yet I still find a reason to be unhappy. Anger for having been rejected by someone I fell in love with. Anger for allowing myself to have fallen in the first place.
After finding out Roberta died this weekend I try to remind myself how lucky I am but then become sick and tired of the self generated reminders.
I am also sick and tired of having such self defeating dialogues with myself:
"I fucking miss C so badly. She isn't coming back. You fucked up- again. She doesn't love you and she never did. Stop drinking, you fucking drunk. Stop smoking so much pot. Be fucking normal you punk ass, spoiled little brat. You are a shitty brother, shitty son and a shitty friend. You haven't accomplished shit in life. No wonder your career isn't going anywhere, you lazy bastard. No wonder she left."
And that's just the start- a bottle of Jameson later and these seem like compliments.
Anyways, there really isn't any point in reading this self- loathing, pathetic, "poor me" rambling and if you have managed to get through this I can only imagine its because you feel better about yourself. You should anyways. Be thankful you aren't me.
At the same time, I know tomorrow is another day and I genuinely do like myself most days. This is just what being human is all about. Without these moments, true bliss and happiness aren't appreciated and embraced, rather flippantly tossed to the side for another day.
I will be fine, after all.
Lately however, I can't seem to find humor or joy in this rut that has become my life. Each day has been bleeding into the next one and I couldn't care less whether its Tuesday or Friday. I know tomorrow will be the same. I have also recognized an apathy in me I have never felt before. I just don't give a fuck. I don't even know why, but I feel as though I am willingly taking a sideline approach to my existence yet I don't even care about getting into the game.
This is all somewhat ironic given the fact I have made an effort at getting out there and doing more with myself in social, economic and artistic manner. Other than not auditioning for shit like I should, I am doing exactly what I set out to do in this period of my life. Why do I feel so empty sometimes?
I recognize these are "normal" feelings and that everyone experiences ups and downs, yet I wonder if mine are more radical than most. Some days (like today) it is a straight up STRUGGLE to even get out of bed in the morning, and it isn't because I want to sleep in. It almost physically hurts sometimes.
I feel as though I am bitching and whining about nothing in particular, yet I know some of you out there have similar experiences which reminds me that as human beings, we have been blessed with such a wide range of emotions that allow us to love, hate and cry over every day happenings. In this we are separated from the other animals. Sometimes, however I wish I was a dog.
Speaking of dogs, it seems lately I have been obsessed with getting one. Perhaps its the perpetual loneliness, isolation or basic lack of interest in people that drives this desire. Maybe I just want an excuse to go on more walks with another being. While I normally have no issues with company, I haven't been connecting with most people the way I am accustomed to which leaves me with a vacant, lonely feeling I can't seem to shake. It doesn't help that I don't really let that many people in.
I have also had this nagging hamstring injury that doesn't allow me to play soccer or have any other physical outlet besides sex which almost always comes with strings and bullshit attached.
Maybe I am simply emotionally unavailable...?
Now comes the anger. Anger with myself for being such a whiny bitch. Anger with my shitty, apathetic, self indulging, self important, meow meow attitude.. Anger with the fact that I know I am spoiled and have many natural gifts and talents yet I still find a reason to be unhappy. Anger for having been rejected by someone I fell in love with. Anger for allowing myself to have fallen in the first place.
After finding out Roberta died this weekend I try to remind myself how lucky I am but then become sick and tired of the self generated reminders.
I am also sick and tired of having such self defeating dialogues with myself:
"I fucking miss C so badly. She isn't coming back. You fucked up- again. She doesn't love you and she never did. Stop drinking, you fucking drunk. Stop smoking so much pot. Be fucking normal you punk ass, spoiled little brat. You are a shitty brother, shitty son and a shitty friend. You haven't accomplished shit in life. No wonder your career isn't going anywhere, you lazy bastard. No wonder she left."
And that's just the start- a bottle of Jameson later and these seem like compliments.
Anyways, there really isn't any point in reading this self- loathing, pathetic, "poor me" rambling and if you have managed to get through this I can only imagine its because you feel better about yourself. You should anyways. Be thankful you aren't me.
At the same time, I know tomorrow is another day and I genuinely do like myself most days. This is just what being human is all about. Without these moments, true bliss and happiness aren't appreciated and embraced, rather flippantly tossed to the side for another day.
I will be fine, after all.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Donald, "Billet Clit" and an asshole.
Today's conversation with Donald was very entertaining. If you don't know who Donald is, I suggest you refer to previous posts to get an idea.
I walk into our lounge to find Donald munching on a half eaten bag of crackers as usual. Every day he eats half a bag of crackers, shoveling them into his mouth repeatedly but making sure to wipe his mouth incessantly, even in places that could not have come close to his cracker. He finishes half the newly opened bag and then hastily shoves them in the garbage as if infectious. I have yet to ask him why he wastes half a bag of crackers a day. Maybe I don't want to know.
Anyways, I ask him what's new and I get some incomprehensible garble about Jerry Brown and Meg Whitman and how Jerry got involved in some sex scandal years ago, claiming to have banged "that woman Monica Lewkisky" along with "The Bill". (I love the way he refers to Bill Clinton as The Bill, BillClin, and Billet Clit, my favorite) To be honest, I still have no clue what he was talking about, nor did I discern what the actual story was about, but I am sure I will find out in the news. I had to write about his excited, jumbled interpretation first. He went on to talk about how he loved Bill Clinton and about how Chelsea is getting married, Sarah Palin is a 'hot but idiot' woman, and Bristol is undoubtedly having sex despite her campaign promoting abstinence while wearing a hooker's uniform while dancing.
Next came MTV of course. I asked him if he saw the VMA's this weekend, which of course he did. Apparently his favorite part was when Gaga won her award for best video of the year and how much he loved her "Arab" outfit. He didn't like the meat dress though because he said the amount of bacteria on that thing must have been "astronomical"- leave it up to a scientist to consider microbes and food borne illnesses in regards to "fashion statements".
Then he went on to say that this year's awards were "spicy" and "very nasty" because "that Chelsea Handler was a dirty, dirty woman". He asked me if she was a singer or something and I informed him that she was a comedian with her own show who leaked a sex tape of herself years ago in an apparent attempt at promoting her stand up career. I have yet to see the whole thing, but I get the joke if she did it the way I imagine she would- good one, Chelsea. Nice tits, too.
Anyways, Donald began describing her "nasty" jokes by saying she kept on talking about penises and vaginas and that at one point she even joked about "looking inside vaginas" which was clearly very groundbreaking to him because he whispered in hushed tones while telling me about this and then quickly retreating into a fake conversation when someone else came in the room. I could hardly contain myself.
He is especially guarded when women come in the room, and I imagine in his world, discussing these things with a woman is purely off limits. He seems to be extremely traditional and old school when it comes to women, which causes me to avoid conversations about women and relationships. I would simply rather be entertained by his mannerisms and interpretations of pop culture than hear about him smacking his wife upside the head with wooden spoons or something.
He usually doesn't ask me much about my life, but today he asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend and I told him I guess I didn't know. I just didn't, and that's how things are sometimes, right? He stared down into the ground and lamented "No, for me, I have either been very lonely or crowded with the woman." Ouch.
He went on to remind me that marriage only ruins relationships and that at 31, I was way too young to get married. I'm not sure what world he is living in, but I do agree with some, albeit very few, of his views. At this point in my life, I do not see the point in getting married. I have no problem with commitment whatsoever, but I do think its almost the "fashionable" thing to do. Everyone around me is getting married, and FAST. Only a couple of them are seemingly ready, which is why I told my brother to go into family law.
I DO however want to go out on a double date with this guy and his wife so I am thinking once I date the right woman for this endeavor, I shall invite him. I know he will be down.
At the same time, I am not completely sure I want to see how he treats his wife, for fear that he may treat her like shit. That can really be bothersome.
I was confronted with a similar situation this weekend with an acquaintance of mine who called me up to come over and check out some football. I don't know that guy all that well, but its one of those "yeah hit me up" type deals where neither person actually calls the other. Well he called, so I went over with a fresh bag of herb. We sit down, he rolls a blunt and we start bullshitting about football, beef jerky and my obsession with getting a dog. Just then his girlfriend comes in the front door, sweetly says hello, gives him a kiss and introduces herself to me. She had clearly been at the store, so she goes to the kitchen, puts some shit in the fridge and asks if we need anything. We didn't, so she pops open a beer and comes and sits next to him on the couch. Seems like a good entrance, huh?
Apparently he didn't like this, and began making his displeasure known with uncomfortable sighs and slightly pushing her away as she inched closer. It was clear he didn't want her around, ignoring her, talking only to me, almost even skipping her in the blunt cycle. Soon enough I get bored with his babbling and ask her what she does, how long they've been together, etc. Right away he starts interrupting her and finally says, "you know what, I am kicking it with my homie, why don't you go do something with yourself?"
It was obvious this wasn't the first time he had talked to her that way.
"Baby I just got home, I haven't seen you this whole weekend"
"Whatever, I'm just trying to kick it and you come up in here all loud, bothering us and shit. I'll kick it with you later" as he turns his back to her.
She clearly looks rejected and hurt, but she gets up and goes out to the front porch to hang out alone.
I sat there befuddled for a few more minutes wondering if it was the herb or something else that made me misconstrue the situation, but soon realized, "no, this guy is just an asshole." She seemed kind enough, attractive and was very much into him, so I couldn't imagine why he would treat her so horribly. Had they been in a fight earlier? Either way, no one deserves to be talked to like that, especially in front of others. In the few times I had hung out with the guy he seemed very friendly, accommodating and honest but after witnessing him treat his girlfriend with such disdain, I wanted to get as far away from him as possible. Within two minutes of that blunt being done, I told him I "had to go see about a dog" and excused myself. I don't think I will be hanging with him again. In fact, now I wish I would have said something, but it probably would have just provoked him into being even shittier toward her. Cocksucker.
I like that excuse, BTW: "I have to go see a guy about a dog". My buddy R gave that to me and I had not used it until I finally saw a use and threw it in. I mean really, once you say that and then dart off, who's gonna ask questions? Its like in the movie American Psycho when he says "I have to go return some video tapes" when he needs to extricate himself from a situation. I once told a director I had to leave rehearsal early because I had to bleach my asshole and it didn't quite work out the way I planned. He erupted in laughter, disrupting his own scene and couldn't stop giggling until he finally stepped outside for a breath. Needless to say, he let me leave rehearsal early. I miss theater.
I walk into our lounge to find Donald munching on a half eaten bag of crackers as usual. Every day he eats half a bag of crackers, shoveling them into his mouth repeatedly but making sure to wipe his mouth incessantly, even in places that could not have come close to his cracker. He finishes half the newly opened bag and then hastily shoves them in the garbage as if infectious. I have yet to ask him why he wastes half a bag of crackers a day. Maybe I don't want to know.
Anyways, I ask him what's new and I get some incomprehensible garble about Jerry Brown and Meg Whitman and how Jerry got involved in some sex scandal years ago, claiming to have banged "that woman Monica Lewkisky" along with "The Bill". (I love the way he refers to Bill Clinton as The Bill, BillClin, and Billet Clit, my favorite) To be honest, I still have no clue what he was talking about, nor did I discern what the actual story was about, but I am sure I will find out in the news. I had to write about his excited, jumbled interpretation first. He went on to talk about how he loved Bill Clinton and about how Chelsea is getting married, Sarah Palin is a 'hot but idiot' woman, and Bristol is undoubtedly having sex despite her campaign promoting abstinence while wearing a hooker's uniform while dancing.
Next came MTV of course. I asked him if he saw the VMA's this weekend, which of course he did. Apparently his favorite part was when Gaga won her award for best video of the year and how much he loved her "Arab" outfit. He didn't like the meat dress though because he said the amount of bacteria on that thing must have been "astronomical"- leave it up to a scientist to consider microbes and food borne illnesses in regards to "fashion statements".
Then he went on to say that this year's awards were "spicy" and "very nasty" because "that Chelsea Handler was a dirty, dirty woman". He asked me if she was a singer or something and I informed him that she was a comedian with her own show who leaked a sex tape of herself years ago in an apparent attempt at promoting her stand up career. I have yet to see the whole thing, but I get the joke if she did it the way I imagine she would- good one, Chelsea. Nice tits, too.
Anyways, Donald began describing her "nasty" jokes by saying she kept on talking about penises and vaginas and that at one point she even joked about "looking inside vaginas" which was clearly very groundbreaking to him because he whispered in hushed tones while telling me about this and then quickly retreating into a fake conversation when someone else came in the room. I could hardly contain myself.
He is especially guarded when women come in the room, and I imagine in his world, discussing these things with a woman is purely off limits. He seems to be extremely traditional and old school when it comes to women, which causes me to avoid conversations about women and relationships. I would simply rather be entertained by his mannerisms and interpretations of pop culture than hear about him smacking his wife upside the head with wooden spoons or something.
He usually doesn't ask me much about my life, but today he asked me why I didn't have a girlfriend and I told him I guess I didn't know. I just didn't, and that's how things are sometimes, right? He stared down into the ground and lamented "No, for me, I have either been very lonely or crowded with the woman." Ouch.
He went on to remind me that marriage only ruins relationships and that at 31, I was way too young to get married. I'm not sure what world he is living in, but I do agree with some, albeit very few, of his views. At this point in my life, I do not see the point in getting married. I have no problem with commitment whatsoever, but I do think its almost the "fashionable" thing to do. Everyone around me is getting married, and FAST. Only a couple of them are seemingly ready, which is why I told my brother to go into family law.
I DO however want to go out on a double date with this guy and his wife so I am thinking once I date the right woman for this endeavor, I shall invite him. I know he will be down.
At the same time, I am not completely sure I want to see how he treats his wife, for fear that he may treat her like shit. That can really be bothersome.
I was confronted with a similar situation this weekend with an acquaintance of mine who called me up to come over and check out some football. I don't know that guy all that well, but its one of those "yeah hit me up" type deals where neither person actually calls the other. Well he called, so I went over with a fresh bag of herb. We sit down, he rolls a blunt and we start bullshitting about football, beef jerky and my obsession with getting a dog. Just then his girlfriend comes in the front door, sweetly says hello, gives him a kiss and introduces herself to me. She had clearly been at the store, so she goes to the kitchen, puts some shit in the fridge and asks if we need anything. We didn't, so she pops open a beer and comes and sits next to him on the couch. Seems like a good entrance, huh?
Apparently he didn't like this, and began making his displeasure known with uncomfortable sighs and slightly pushing her away as she inched closer. It was clear he didn't want her around, ignoring her, talking only to me, almost even skipping her in the blunt cycle. Soon enough I get bored with his babbling and ask her what she does, how long they've been together, etc. Right away he starts interrupting her and finally says, "you know what, I am kicking it with my homie, why don't you go do something with yourself?"
It was obvious this wasn't the first time he had talked to her that way.
"Baby I just got home, I haven't seen you this whole weekend"
"Whatever, I'm just trying to kick it and you come up in here all loud, bothering us and shit. I'll kick it with you later" as he turns his back to her.
She clearly looks rejected and hurt, but she gets up and goes out to the front porch to hang out alone.
I sat there befuddled for a few more minutes wondering if it was the herb or something else that made me misconstrue the situation, but soon realized, "no, this guy is just an asshole." She seemed kind enough, attractive and was very much into him, so I couldn't imagine why he would treat her so horribly. Had they been in a fight earlier? Either way, no one deserves to be talked to like that, especially in front of others. In the few times I had hung out with the guy he seemed very friendly, accommodating and honest but after witnessing him treat his girlfriend with such disdain, I wanted to get as far away from him as possible. Within two minutes of that blunt being done, I told him I "had to go see about a dog" and excused myself. I don't think I will be hanging with him again. In fact, now I wish I would have said something, but it probably would have just provoked him into being even shittier toward her. Cocksucker.
I like that excuse, BTW: "I have to go see a guy about a dog". My buddy R gave that to me and I had not used it until I finally saw a use and threw it in. I mean really, once you say that and then dart off, who's gonna ask questions? Its like in the movie American Psycho when he says "I have to go return some video tapes" when he needs to extricate himself from a situation. I once told a director I had to leave rehearsal early because I had to bleach my asshole and it didn't quite work out the way I planned. He erupted in laughter, disrupting his own scene and couldn't stop giggling until he finally stepped outside for a breath. Needless to say, he let me leave rehearsal early. I miss theater.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Fatties, Russians and earthquakes.
So I work with a bunch of scientists as mentioned before and today it seems they concocted some kind of nutso drug in the lab this morning and tried it out. There's this Russian who we shall call Victoria. This woman is relatively new, but holy shit she is loud! Every morning she is fired up about something or another as if we were working in politics or something. She has an extremely thick accent and is constantly excited and perplexed with the way bureaucracy works in the state, overusing adjectives like "stupid" and "nonsense" while constantly eating eggs. I don't know what her fascination with chicken reproductive cells, but she eats them at almost every meal and worse yet, she microwaves them. yuck.
reminds me of a bunch of Russians I used to go to school with as a kid. I remember these guys would beat the shit out of each other, no holds barred without any interference from authority. For some reason, they would start fighting amongst themselves and it would be dismissed: "Oh its just the Russians fighting again." I remember these fools would kick the shit out of each other- literally. For some reason kicking isn't fashionable in American street fighting and we aren't used to fighting a dude who is going to start by kicking your legs. Well one time this kid kicked another so hard in the ass, shit came out. The kid began convulsing and flailing about on the floor as he uncontrollably shit himself in pain.
Then another time a kid who none of us liked began shouting "Fucking Russians!" as he served food in the cafeteria until one day the little fat one popped him in the mouth, causing blood to flow into the Ravioli sauce. Quite entertaining indeed. Victoria probably went to school with these kids- in fact it wouldn't surprise me if she was the little angry fatty.
As we speak, she sits in her office eating eggs and arguing with Donald about some chemicals they just ordered. Scientists get worked up over such minor things; one tweak and their world falls apart. She has an extraordinarily large ass which seems to grow with her time here in the states.
*Whoa, I just felt an earthquake that felt as if a bomb dropped.
Speaking of large asses, I read an interesting article today about a woman who lost 100 lbs and gained a "new life" or basically perspective. It's always been clear to me that fat people get picked on and discriminated against quite a bit, especially women. With the body image issues pop culture produces, many women end up feeling like shit about themselves because they don't look like (insert random hot chick here). I ask myself if I would seriously date a fat girl, and my first question is, "how fat?". I am not quite sure what to think about this. I never considered myself shallow but I have definitely made light of people's weight, including my own. In theory I would never turn down someone because they were fat, but I suppose its happened countless times. I do have to be attracted to someone, but I find humor more attractive than a perfect set of tits (just barely). This woman pointed out that usually fat people are funny in order to create effective walls. I mean really, fat jokes are pretty funny sometimes. I just didn't quite realize how hurtful they are to people, especially women.
It's easy for guys to have a beer gut and talk shit because its more "acceptable" and many women seem to overlook it even when they have maintained a slim figure. It is one of the many double standards and advantages we, as men enjoy after having dominated society for so long. At the end of her article she says:
"But when I lost weight, I was rewarded with membership in a club I never knew existed, where the benefits included better treatment, greater professional success and, above all, a new status as qualified participant in the social world including romantic relationships."
I never quite thought about it this way, but it is very disconcerting. Club? Really?
While this woman's own perception is clearly that- her own, it seems this mentality plagues many people who fail for one reason or another to establish satisfying personal lives.
Still, I think people take themselves too seriously. They don't even want to be called fat sometimes. Especially the REALLY fat ones as they prefer large, or BBW or whatever. How come all of them consider themselves big, BEAUTIFUL women, anyways? Who told you that?
You ain't gotta lie to kick it.
If and when I am fat, fuck it say "I'm a fatso". I mean really, are you THAT sensitive? Do you not look in the mirror? OWN the fact you are fat and I think it would make people a little more secure with themselves.
Here is that article, btw. Check it out:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/09/02/tf.lost.100.pounds.fat/index.html?hpt=T2
reminds me of a bunch of Russians I used to go to school with as a kid. I remember these guys would beat the shit out of each other, no holds barred without any interference from authority. For some reason, they would start fighting amongst themselves and it would be dismissed: "Oh its just the Russians fighting again." I remember these fools would kick the shit out of each other- literally. For some reason kicking isn't fashionable in American street fighting and we aren't used to fighting a dude who is going to start by kicking your legs. Well one time this kid kicked another so hard in the ass, shit came out. The kid began convulsing and flailing about on the floor as he uncontrollably shit himself in pain.
Then another time a kid who none of us liked began shouting "Fucking Russians!" as he served food in the cafeteria until one day the little fat one popped him in the mouth, causing blood to flow into the Ravioli sauce. Quite entertaining indeed. Victoria probably went to school with these kids- in fact it wouldn't surprise me if she was the little angry fatty.
As we speak, she sits in her office eating eggs and arguing with Donald about some chemicals they just ordered. Scientists get worked up over such minor things; one tweak and their world falls apart. She has an extraordinarily large ass which seems to grow with her time here in the states.
*Whoa, I just felt an earthquake that felt as if a bomb dropped.
Speaking of large asses, I read an interesting article today about a woman who lost 100 lbs and gained a "new life" or basically perspective. It's always been clear to me that fat people get picked on and discriminated against quite a bit, especially women. With the body image issues pop culture produces, many women end up feeling like shit about themselves because they don't look like (insert random hot chick here). I ask myself if I would seriously date a fat girl, and my first question is, "how fat?". I am not quite sure what to think about this. I never considered myself shallow but I have definitely made light of people's weight, including my own. In theory I would never turn down someone because they were fat, but I suppose its happened countless times. I do have to be attracted to someone, but I find humor more attractive than a perfect set of tits (just barely). This woman pointed out that usually fat people are funny in order to create effective walls. I mean really, fat jokes are pretty funny sometimes. I just didn't quite realize how hurtful they are to people, especially women.
It's easy for guys to have a beer gut and talk shit because its more "acceptable" and many women seem to overlook it even when they have maintained a slim figure. It is one of the many double standards and advantages we, as men enjoy after having dominated society for so long. At the end of her article she says:
"But when I lost weight, I was rewarded with membership in a club I never knew existed, where the benefits included better treatment, greater professional success and, above all, a new status as qualified participant in the social world including romantic relationships."
I never quite thought about it this way, but it is very disconcerting. Club? Really?
While this woman's own perception is clearly that- her own, it seems this mentality plagues many people who fail for one reason or another to establish satisfying personal lives.
Still, I think people take themselves too seriously. They don't even want to be called fat sometimes. Especially the REALLY fat ones as they prefer large, or BBW or whatever. How come all of them consider themselves big, BEAUTIFUL women, anyways? Who told you that?
You ain't gotta lie to kick it.
If and when I am fat, fuck it say "I'm a fatso". I mean really, are you THAT sensitive? Do you not look in the mirror? OWN the fact you are fat and I think it would make people a little more secure with themselves.
Here is that article, btw. Check it out:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/09/02/tf.lost.100.pounds.fat/index.html?hpt=T2
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
A Mormon Virgin, her ham wallet and a married woman. WARNING: Sexually graphic of a personal nature.
So last night was extremely interesting and further evidence as to why I should not live so close to a bar. I'm ridiculous sometimes. As a buddy of mine puts it, "you need to take it down a notch". I suppose he's right sometimes.
First off, I should begin with the story of the Mormon virgin, which is sort of the catalyst to last night's events.
A few years ago I met this German exchange student who took quite a liking to me and began coming by my work to say hello. She is a very attractive woman with a sweet disposition. After chatting a few times however, she revealed the fact she is a Mormon from Germany who's father was a missionary that went to Germany, met her mother, converted her and had this girl.
Of course I quickly distanced myself and made it clear we were never going to go out on a date-period. I tried not to be offensive, but she pressed for a reason for my rejection and it was simply the fact she was Mormon- daughter of Missionaries no less. Those fucking people make me sick. Still, she continued with the visits.
After not having seen her for a while, she randomly called me one night (yes I gave her my number like a dumbass) about a year ago and started going on about how she was 24 and wasn't sure if she could remain celibate, etc. etc. My response was basically "sorry honey, that sounds like a personal problem."
She didn't quite go for that.
Before long, she started sending what she considered "dirty" texts that were very amusing to say the least. "I want to kiss your neck and have you grab my breasts" Very funny stuff.
She got the hint these weren't enticing me in the slightest so she began sending pictures of herself in her underwear, tight t-shirts, etc.
Then came the pictures of her tits. Then her ass. Then her entire naked body. Her pussy. Her fingers inside her pussy. Shaving. You get the idea.
Needless to say, I was shocked. I couldn't believe such a sexually repressed woman would ever send such graphic pictures, especially to some dude she really didn't know all that well. I even reminded her of that and for whatever reason she found trust in me and basically wanted me to "teach her", as she put it.
It was almost as if those little cartoon devils and angels showed up on my shoulders and debated furiously. Could I REALLY take this girl's virginity knowing I wouldn't ever have anything more to do with her? It simply SOUNDED wrong.
At the same time, I literally felt bad for her. How could a hot girl with a body DESIGNED for fucking go until 24 without doing so?! I mean in some ways, I would be doing her a favor, right? She would finally get that fine ass body of hers satisfied by someone who purportedly knew what he was doing. As she put it, "Mormon boys have no idea what they are doing" and always simply "make out and dry hump for hours".
Still, I knew she actually liked me and I remember the power of your first piece of ass. I simply didn't want the responsibility or blood in my bed.
After all, how fun could it be to fuck a virgin anyways?
I basically told her she couldn't call me anymore and that it wasn't going to happen, etc etc. She stopped contacting me until I literally ran into her a few months ago and she told me how happy she was with this new guy she was seeing. No harm, no foul. I'm sure she never even realized how much damage I could actually do to her life with these pics. Can you imagine if I sent them to her boss (a lobbyist) or worse yet, her church? Poor, naive, Mormon.
(And no I didn't post any of her pics online, in case you are wondering)
UNTIL last night. She started with the pictures again, except this time they were pretty fucking graphic. I'm talking dildos, fishnets and latex. This girl can't REALLY be a virgin, can she?! But of course, she started asking questions about the male anatomy that reinforced the idea she hadn't ever even touched a dick. She even asked if her coochie looked "normal" to me. Then came the "I'm in Berkeley tonight and I just got out of a party. Can I come over?"
Now I am recently sort of out of a relationship of sorts so I simply haven't been much in the mood lately, but I started thinking that's exactly what I needed. STILL, I resisted. I was actually quite proud of myself for doing the "right thing".
Its amazing how a couple hours and a few beers can change things.
Before I know it, I am closing down the bar, playing darts with some MILF, drunk off my ass. The next thing I know, she is in my apartment and the next- well my penis somehow ended up inside her.
Now I have to say, this woman was 43 if I remember correctly but her body was smoking hot! I have been with some women half her age who would envy such a body and of course she had mad skills. The whole older women knowing what they are doing notion has proven true in the few times I've been there. This one epitomized the idea of MILFS. I definitely enjoyed myself.
So we're laying there smoking a post coital bowl when she says "Fuck, I REALLY need to get out of here! I had no idea it was so late. My husband is going to be pissed!"
Cue record scratching.
HUSBAND?!
"Yeah we live right down the street."
WTF?! SERIOUSLY, bitch? You little whore. (the kettle calling the pot black)
I hope I don't run into this woman again, but chances are I will. Note to self: keep away!
That should probably teach me not to slut around and fuck random women from the bar, but it probably won't. Don't get me wrong, I am not really promiscuous or anything, but sometimes a guy has to do what he has to do. At the same time, I am such a hypochondriac, the idea of fucking a stranger should be down right disgusting. Pussy is magic.
I REALLY need to move away from that bar!
Sidenote, completely unrelated: check out this chick's blog:
http://mimiv.tumblr.com/
She is super hilarious and she has problems. She even claims to have great boobs. How can you NOT take a peek?
First off, I should begin with the story of the Mormon virgin, which is sort of the catalyst to last night's events.
A few years ago I met this German exchange student who took quite a liking to me and began coming by my work to say hello. She is a very attractive woman with a sweet disposition. After chatting a few times however, she revealed the fact she is a Mormon from Germany who's father was a missionary that went to Germany, met her mother, converted her and had this girl.
Of course I quickly distanced myself and made it clear we were never going to go out on a date-period. I tried not to be offensive, but she pressed for a reason for my rejection and it was simply the fact she was Mormon- daughter of Missionaries no less. Those fucking people make me sick. Still, she continued with the visits.
After not having seen her for a while, she randomly called me one night (yes I gave her my number like a dumbass) about a year ago and started going on about how she was 24 and wasn't sure if she could remain celibate, etc. etc. My response was basically "sorry honey, that sounds like a personal problem."
She didn't quite go for that.
Before long, she started sending what she considered "dirty" texts that were very amusing to say the least. "I want to kiss your neck and have you grab my breasts" Very funny stuff.
She got the hint these weren't enticing me in the slightest so she began sending pictures of herself in her underwear, tight t-shirts, etc.
Then came the pictures of her tits. Then her ass. Then her entire naked body. Her pussy. Her fingers inside her pussy. Shaving. You get the idea.
Needless to say, I was shocked. I couldn't believe such a sexually repressed woman would ever send such graphic pictures, especially to some dude she really didn't know all that well. I even reminded her of that and for whatever reason she found trust in me and basically wanted me to "teach her", as she put it.
It was almost as if those little cartoon devils and angels showed up on my shoulders and debated furiously. Could I REALLY take this girl's virginity knowing I wouldn't ever have anything more to do with her? It simply SOUNDED wrong.
At the same time, I literally felt bad for her. How could a hot girl with a body DESIGNED for fucking go until 24 without doing so?! I mean in some ways, I would be doing her a favor, right? She would finally get that fine ass body of hers satisfied by someone who purportedly knew what he was doing. As she put it, "Mormon boys have no idea what they are doing" and always simply "make out and dry hump for hours".
Still, I knew she actually liked me and I remember the power of your first piece of ass. I simply didn't want the responsibility or blood in my bed.
After all, how fun could it be to fuck a virgin anyways?
I basically told her she couldn't call me anymore and that it wasn't going to happen, etc etc. She stopped contacting me until I literally ran into her a few months ago and she told me how happy she was with this new guy she was seeing. No harm, no foul. I'm sure she never even realized how much damage I could actually do to her life with these pics. Can you imagine if I sent them to her boss (a lobbyist) or worse yet, her church? Poor, naive, Mormon.
(And no I didn't post any of her pics online, in case you are wondering)
UNTIL last night. She started with the pictures again, except this time they were pretty fucking graphic. I'm talking dildos, fishnets and latex. This girl can't REALLY be a virgin, can she?! But of course, she started asking questions about the male anatomy that reinforced the idea she hadn't ever even touched a dick. She even asked if her coochie looked "normal" to me. Then came the "I'm in Berkeley tonight and I just got out of a party. Can I come over?"
Now I am recently sort of out of a relationship of sorts so I simply haven't been much in the mood lately, but I started thinking that's exactly what I needed. STILL, I resisted. I was actually quite proud of myself for doing the "right thing".
Its amazing how a couple hours and a few beers can change things.
Before I know it, I am closing down the bar, playing darts with some MILF, drunk off my ass. The next thing I know, she is in my apartment and the next- well my penis somehow ended up inside her.
Now I have to say, this woman was 43 if I remember correctly but her body was smoking hot! I have been with some women half her age who would envy such a body and of course she had mad skills. The whole older women knowing what they are doing notion has proven true in the few times I've been there. This one epitomized the idea of MILFS. I definitely enjoyed myself.
So we're laying there smoking a post coital bowl when she says "Fuck, I REALLY need to get out of here! I had no idea it was so late. My husband is going to be pissed!"
Cue record scratching.
HUSBAND?!
"Yeah we live right down the street."
WTF?! SERIOUSLY, bitch? You little whore. (the kettle calling the pot black)
I hope I don't run into this woman again, but chances are I will. Note to self: keep away!
That should probably teach me not to slut around and fuck random women from the bar, but it probably won't. Don't get me wrong, I am not really promiscuous or anything, but sometimes a guy has to do what he has to do. At the same time, I am such a hypochondriac, the idea of fucking a stranger should be down right disgusting. Pussy is magic.
I REALLY need to move away from that bar!
Sidenote, completely unrelated: check out this chick's blog:
http://mimiv.tumblr.com/
She is super hilarious and she has problems. She even claims to have great boobs. How can you NOT take a peek?
Monday, August 23, 2010
Donald the Scientist, iPhones and fat ex's.
So today's conversation with my Indian scientist friend was entertaining as always. We're going to call him "Donald" for storytelling purposes. Donald walks into our break room in his most awkward gait, sporting brown, baggy, polyester pants that appear as though he took a shit in them, complete with a green cardigan sweater similar to the one Kurt Cobain wore in "unplugged". That was probably the last time I watched MTV, which clearly dates me but Donald is a pop culture hound as mentioned in a previous post.
I quickly begin probing: "So what was on MTV this weekend, Donald?"
"Did you see the photographs of Jay-Z and Beyonce on vacation in ---- I don't remember where. They look like they are having a fabulous time with the drinks and the sand. I would like to be with them." he replies (of course in his thick accent).
Immediately, an image of Donald and Jay-Z smoking a blunt and sipping courvoisier came to mind making me giggle. I asked him if he found Beyonce attractive and he shifts in his chair excitedly saying,
"Oh yes, she is a perfect black woman and that ordinarily is not my type."
"Yeah, so what's your type, Donald?" I ask inquisitively. I leave the whole 'perfect black woman' comment alone.
"I like the blondy girls like Heidi Montag before her surgeries" he replies, matter -of- factly.
"HOLY SHIT!" I thought. Now that is an image. Donald and Heidi. HA!
I don't even know what this woman looked like before her surgeries and didn't have a clue who she was before I saw her plastered all over the place recently. What a sad bitch she is- another topic to be discussed at a later time.
"Why do they call him HOVA?" he asks curiously referring to Jay-Z.
"You know I am not sure. I think it has something to do with drug dealing" I answer.
"Oh." he sits quietly for second, pensively looking at me as if waiting to ask a question."Have you ever dealt the drugs?"
"No Donald, that wasn't my thing. I was more into pimping."
His eyes widen as he obviously believes me for some stupid reason. "Really?!"
Just then our secretary walks in and summons him in an urgent tone, and he races out of the room. I have yet to see him since, but I imagine he has spent the last couple hours thinking I am a former pimp. I haven't decided whether I will tell him the truth or not. He is obviously a very gullible man.
Speaking of which, so am I in regards to having bought an iPhone a couple years ago. I feel like I am being bent over on a daily basis. I know its mostly AT&;T but I also wonder how much of it has to do with this fucking phone. I can't finish a conversation if my life depended on it- literally. The other day I tried to call 911 for a man who thought he was having a heart attack, and the fucking thing wouldn't make the call! I had to race into the closest business and use their land line. I swear these things are a joke.
iPhones are like trophy girlfriends- Sleek, sexy, and fun to play with and show off to one's friends. However, when you REALLY need the bitch, its fucking WORTHLESS!
I can't wait to break up with AT&T forever.
Speaking of trophy girlfriends...
So this weekend I finally looked at pics of one of my ex's who ended up marrying this guy and getting knocked up within months of us breaking up. I hadn't any interest in seeing how she was or anything of the sort as she is the only person I have had a relationship with I actively dislike. I wouldn't wish poor luck on any of my ex's except for this one. Sure enough, pregnancy hasn't treated her well.
This bitch is a former wannabe model who put an incredible amount of stock into her appearance when we first moved to the bay area together. It was as if she recognized that in Sacramento she may have been a big deal, but here she is a dime a dozen. That was one of the many things that completely turned me off about her. I wanted to shake her and say "Get off yourself, will ya?!"
Anyways, I saw a pic of her pregnant this weekend and she is fucking HUGE. Her arms look like ham hocks. I find this incredibly hilarious because knowing her, she isn't handling it well. The bitch was the type to make fun of fatties too, so she deserves every comment coming her way. She will probably end up looking like her mother, who walks like a stuffed duck bearing a stupid grin. I can't wait to run into her in public one of these days. HA!
Looking back, she reminds me of a miniature Heidi Montag, but the San Francisco hipster version. She spent so much time on her bitten look that she replicated time and again. She literally wore Ed Hardy shit on a daily basis. She had a "vanity" in the corner of our room so she could spend an hour getting ready. I think that about spells it out.
What was I thinking?!
These poor girls are being pressured and pounded as little girls to jettison their individuality and emulate these little whores who become famous by fucking on camera. Lawrence Fishburne's daughter is a perfect case in point.
Of course it comes down to how we raise our kids. Do we raise them to grow up as sluts (not that there is anything entirely wong with this) or do we teach them temperance? How do we shed our Western sexual hang ups and issues with guilt and religion without crossing the line into American, short sided relationships based on cock sucking and butt fucking?
I don't feel bad for Morpheus for some reason. Something tells me he brought this on himself.
Still, I remind myself daily that I AM NEO. I have dodged so many bullets with women at this point I feel as if I don't have to.
I quickly begin probing: "So what was on MTV this weekend, Donald?"
"Did you see the photographs of Jay-Z and Beyonce on vacation in ---- I don't remember where. They look like they are having a fabulous time with the drinks and the sand. I would like to be with them." he replies (of course in his thick accent).
Immediately, an image of Donald and Jay-Z smoking a blunt and sipping courvoisier came to mind making me giggle. I asked him if he found Beyonce attractive and he shifts in his chair excitedly saying,
"Oh yes, she is a perfect black woman and that ordinarily is not my type."
"Yeah, so what's your type, Donald?" I ask inquisitively. I leave the whole 'perfect black woman' comment alone.
"I like the blondy girls like Heidi Montag before her surgeries" he replies, matter -of- factly.
"HOLY SHIT!" I thought. Now that is an image. Donald and Heidi. HA!
I don't even know what this woman looked like before her surgeries and didn't have a clue who she was before I saw her plastered all over the place recently. What a sad bitch she is- another topic to be discussed at a later time.
"Why do they call him HOVA?" he asks curiously referring to Jay-Z.
"You know I am not sure. I think it has something to do with drug dealing" I answer.
"Oh." he sits quietly for second, pensively looking at me as if waiting to ask a question."Have you ever dealt the drugs?"
"No Donald, that wasn't my thing. I was more into pimping."
His eyes widen as he obviously believes me for some stupid reason. "Really?!"
Just then our secretary walks in and summons him in an urgent tone, and he races out of the room. I have yet to see him since, but I imagine he has spent the last couple hours thinking I am a former pimp. I haven't decided whether I will tell him the truth or not. He is obviously a very gullible man.
Speaking of which, so am I in regards to having bought an iPhone a couple years ago. I feel like I am being bent over on a daily basis. I know its mostly AT&;T but I also wonder how much of it has to do with this fucking phone. I can't finish a conversation if my life depended on it- literally. The other day I tried to call 911 for a man who thought he was having a heart attack, and the fucking thing wouldn't make the call! I had to race into the closest business and use their land line. I swear these things are a joke.
iPhones are like trophy girlfriends- Sleek, sexy, and fun to play with and show off to one's friends. However, when you REALLY need the bitch, its fucking WORTHLESS!
I can't wait to break up with AT&T forever.
Speaking of trophy girlfriends...
So this weekend I finally looked at pics of one of my ex's who ended up marrying this guy and getting knocked up within months of us breaking up. I hadn't any interest in seeing how she was or anything of the sort as she is the only person I have had a relationship with I actively dislike. I wouldn't wish poor luck on any of my ex's except for this one. Sure enough, pregnancy hasn't treated her well.
This bitch is a former wannabe model who put an incredible amount of stock into her appearance when we first moved to the bay area together. It was as if she recognized that in Sacramento she may have been a big deal, but here she is a dime a dozen. That was one of the many things that completely turned me off about her. I wanted to shake her and say "Get off yourself, will ya?!"
Anyways, I saw a pic of her pregnant this weekend and she is fucking HUGE. Her arms look like ham hocks. I find this incredibly hilarious because knowing her, she isn't handling it well. The bitch was the type to make fun of fatties too, so she deserves every comment coming her way. She will probably end up looking like her mother, who walks like a stuffed duck bearing a stupid grin. I can't wait to run into her in public one of these days. HA!
Looking back, she reminds me of a miniature Heidi Montag, but the San Francisco hipster version. She spent so much time on her bitten look that she replicated time and again. She literally wore Ed Hardy shit on a daily basis. She had a "vanity" in the corner of our room so she could spend an hour getting ready. I think that about spells it out.
What was I thinking?!
These poor girls are being pressured and pounded as little girls to jettison their individuality and emulate these little whores who become famous by fucking on camera. Lawrence Fishburne's daughter is a perfect case in point.
Of course it comes down to how we raise our kids. Do we raise them to grow up as sluts (not that there is anything entirely wong with this) or do we teach them temperance? How do we shed our Western sexual hang ups and issues with guilt and religion without crossing the line into American, short sided relationships based on cock sucking and butt fucking?
I don't feel bad for Morpheus for some reason. Something tells me he brought this on himself.
Still, I remind myself daily that I AM NEO. I have dodged so many bullets with women at this point I feel as if I don't have to.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Monday, Pee-Wee and Indian Scientists.
I never used to hate Mondays, but I do now. I'm sorry, but I really don't give a shit what my co-workers did during the weekend, but I sit there listening, eyes glazed over.
However there are a couple scientists here that CRACK ME UP! One of them is a stereotypical, middle aged, Indian guy with a thick accent, fat rimmed glasses and funky 70's style clothing he must have bought when JCPenny's was still in business. The guy literally wears a pocket protector.
He assumes I watch MTV and things of the sort because he asks me if I see "The Situation" do this or that, or if I saw (insert title of TV show here) which of course I don't. I guess he thinks since I am the young guy in the office I must watch this shit. He rambles on excitedly in his thick ass accent, filling me in on the guy who "skipped the massage and went straight for the gential area". Don't ask. I hardly figured out what the hell he was talking about but it involved a handjob I think. Then he tells me for the 32nd time about Lady fucking Gaga and what the song "Alejandro" is REALLY about.
I asked him if he would start calling ME the situation, and he responded "you are no situation, my friend"
Its actually sort of become the highlight of my day. I want to follow this guy home and simply watch HIM for entertainment. He seems to get most of his cues concerning American pop culture through adolescent television programing and radio which clearly paints us out to be pill popping, overtanned, Ed Hardy wearing fuckos. Give him another year, and I think he will be sporting a fo-hawk.
Today's news is relatively entertaining. In regards to Prop 8., the opposition has set forth a new argument supporting the ban on gay marriages:
"The record leaves no doubt, none at all, that California, 44 other states, and the vast majority of countries throughout the world continue to draw the line at marriage because it continues to serve a vital societal interest that is equally ubiquitous – to channel potentially procreative sexual relationships into enduring, stable unions for the sake of responsibly producing and raising the next generation,"
Are they trying to say we won't breed enough if we allow gays to get married?! Seriously?! People are already popping out too many kids as it is!
I dont think this argument is even worth dignifying with a response. Its just plain stupidity.
On a lighter note, Paul Rubens a.k.a Pee Wee Herman recently "proved" he wasn't jacking off in a theatre back in the day because as the police report said, he was jacking off with his left hand. Pee Wee says he is right handed and most people jerk off using their dominant hand. Ever heard of a "STRANGER" Pee Wee?! I thought most people were switch hitters, anyways? I dont think Pee Wee would do very well in law school.
So I dont really know why this Tila Tequilla bitch is famous, but the headline that read " Tila Tequila Attacked With Rocks, Feces At Gathering Of The Juggalos" almost made me piss myself with laughter. They even showed pictures of the broad's fucked up face! I am still trying to figure out how feces was thrown on her! Did someone really shit themselves, pull it out of their pants and fling it like a monkey?! I surely hope so. Usually, laughing at someone who endured this would be an assholish thing to do, but something tells me this bitch probably deserved it. She straight up pulled her shirt off thinking her fake tits would settle the crowd down when all it did was provoke them further- HA!
I guess guys are into this chick, but I would only fuck her if she let me put my foot on her face while doing so.
I saw this pic and couldn't help but post it. While quite funny, I also feel bad for this kid- he's going to cough his little lungs out! That bong is WAY too big for a kid his size!
In sporting news, the English Premier League started this weekend, so on Sundays you will most likely find me hammered and yelling at the TV. I think I may even bust out an adult diaper so I don't have to leave the couch.
These fucking English people are nuts about their football. I gotta make my way to England one of these days just to join them in rioting ove a fucking game of soccer. I'll be in the news for getting my ass kicked, I just know it. Until then it's just the couch,my favorite glass friend and I. You have been warned.
In "basketball news", Lebron James is so big a headline read "Lebron's new teammate arrested" Poor guy. Not only does he get arrested, but he doesnt even have a name, he is soley "Lebron's teammate". Nevermind the dude was on the team before Lebron.
Oh and the A's got beat by the Twins again. C'mon guys, you're starting to fall apart!
On a personal note, I asked this woman out via Facebook the other day which is totally NOT my style, nor should it be anyone's. This girl is fucking hilarious so I figured I would probably get made fun of, but she was pretty cool in her rejection. It turns out she has a boyfriend (figures) and as I suspected, I am not the only dumb ass to make such a move.
I don't know what it is with women lately. The ones I am attracted to put me in the friend zone very quickly and those that are attracted to me I have no interest in. I think the bay area has been cruel to me in this respect. While my style or lack thereof, may look a bit conservative sometimes, my taste in women is anything but. Women here in the bay are so much more attractive given their personal style than they are in place like L.A. It seems to me ladies in the bay dress for themselves, and no one else- not each other, guys, magazines, etc. THAT is so much more attractive than the typical fake blonde with fake breasts, asses and tans. I NEED a little imperfection. It reminds me you're human. The term "I need a sense of humor" has become so cliche I don't think most people understand what it even means. I was recently out on a date with a woman who laughed at everything I said, even when I wasnt trying to make her laugh. Needless to say, I havent called her again. Big tits can only hold my attention for so long.
On the other hand, I was at one of my normal coffee spots when I ran into this woman I see all the time. after some conversation I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime but I didnt mean a date or anything of the sort. She seemed receptive until she just sort of stopped talking to me. Apparently she thought I was trying to get into her pants which I most certaintly was not which ultimately displeased her I guess. Its like we're damned if we do, damned if we dont. If I was trying to get into her pants, I would be labled the guy who just wants pussy but if I dont, I am "wasting her time" as she told a mutual acquaintance.
Oh well.
Am I ever going to find a woman that will happily make fun of me and then let me play with her boobs?
However there are a couple scientists here that CRACK ME UP! One of them is a stereotypical, middle aged, Indian guy with a thick accent, fat rimmed glasses and funky 70's style clothing he must have bought when JCPenny's was still in business. The guy literally wears a pocket protector.
He assumes I watch MTV and things of the sort because he asks me if I see "The Situation" do this or that, or if I saw (insert title of TV show here) which of course I don't. I guess he thinks since I am the young guy in the office I must watch this shit. He rambles on excitedly in his thick ass accent, filling me in on the guy who "skipped the massage and went straight for the gential area". Don't ask. I hardly figured out what the hell he was talking about but it involved a handjob I think. Then he tells me for the 32nd time about Lady fucking Gaga and what the song "Alejandro" is REALLY about.
I asked him if he would start calling ME the situation, and he responded "you are no situation, my friend"
Its actually sort of become the highlight of my day. I want to follow this guy home and simply watch HIM for entertainment. He seems to get most of his cues concerning American pop culture through adolescent television programing and radio which clearly paints us out to be pill popping, overtanned, Ed Hardy wearing fuckos. Give him another year, and I think he will be sporting a fo-hawk.
Today's news is relatively entertaining. In regards to Prop 8., the opposition has set forth a new argument supporting the ban on gay marriages:
"The record leaves no doubt, none at all, that California, 44 other states, and the vast majority of countries throughout the world continue to draw the line at marriage because it continues to serve a vital societal interest that is equally ubiquitous – to channel potentially procreative sexual relationships into enduring, stable unions for the sake of responsibly producing and raising the next generation,"
Are they trying to say we won't breed enough if we allow gays to get married?! Seriously?! People are already popping out too many kids as it is!
I dont think this argument is even worth dignifying with a response. Its just plain stupidity.
On a lighter note, Paul Rubens a.k.a Pee Wee Herman recently "proved" he wasn't jacking off in a theatre back in the day because as the police report said, he was jacking off with his left hand. Pee Wee says he is right handed and most people jerk off using their dominant hand. Ever heard of a "STRANGER" Pee Wee?! I thought most people were switch hitters, anyways? I dont think Pee Wee would do very well in law school.
I guess guys are into this chick, but I would only fuck her if she let me put my foot on her face while doing so.
I saw this pic and couldn't help but post it. While quite funny, I also feel bad for this kid- he's going to cough his little lungs out! That bong is WAY too big for a kid his size!
In sporting news, the English Premier League started this weekend, so on Sundays you will most likely find me hammered and yelling at the TV. I think I may even bust out an adult diaper so I don't have to leave the couch.
These fucking English people are nuts about their football. I gotta make my way to England one of these days just to join them in rioting ove a fucking game of soccer. I'll be in the news for getting my ass kicked, I just know it. Until then it's just the couch,my favorite glass friend and I. You have been warned.
In "basketball news", Lebron James is so big a headline read "Lebron's new teammate arrested" Poor guy. Not only does he get arrested, but he doesnt even have a name, he is soley "Lebron's teammate". Nevermind the dude was on the team before Lebron.
Oh and the A's got beat by the Twins again. C'mon guys, you're starting to fall apart!
On a personal note, I asked this woman out via Facebook the other day which is totally NOT my style, nor should it be anyone's. This girl is fucking hilarious so I figured I would probably get made fun of, but she was pretty cool in her rejection. It turns out she has a boyfriend (figures) and as I suspected, I am not the only dumb ass to make such a move.
I don't know what it is with women lately. The ones I am attracted to put me in the friend zone very quickly and those that are attracted to me I have no interest in. I think the bay area has been cruel to me in this respect. While my style or lack thereof, may look a bit conservative sometimes, my taste in women is anything but. Women here in the bay are so much more attractive given their personal style than they are in place like L.A. It seems to me ladies in the bay dress for themselves, and no one else- not each other, guys, magazines, etc. THAT is so much more attractive than the typical fake blonde with fake breasts, asses and tans. I NEED a little imperfection. It reminds me you're human. The term "I need a sense of humor" has become so cliche I don't think most people understand what it even means. I was recently out on a date with a woman who laughed at everything I said, even when I wasnt trying to make her laugh. Needless to say, I havent called her again. Big tits can only hold my attention for so long.
On the other hand, I was at one of my normal coffee spots when I ran into this woman I see all the time. after some conversation I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime but I didnt mean a date or anything of the sort. She seemed receptive until she just sort of stopped talking to me. Apparently she thought I was trying to get into her pants which I most certaintly was not which ultimately displeased her I guess. Its like we're damned if we do, damned if we dont. If I was trying to get into her pants, I would be labled the guy who just wants pussy but if I dont, I am "wasting her time" as she told a mutual acquaintance.
Oh well.
Am I ever going to find a woman that will happily make fun of me and then let me play with her boobs?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Reasons to be Angry
I guess right now I have a bunch of em. Shit, I just read the news- can you blame me?
Crusades of 2010
I think perhaps the most enraging article discussed the fact that many Americans are protesting the newly proposed Mosque to be built near Ground Zero. One only need surf the net a couple minutes to see the hate-filled rhetoric and protests, decrying the notion that Muslims may enjoy some of the rights extended to Christians, Protestants, Lutherans, and even Scientologists. This pic pretty much sums it up:
I mean seriously, woman? SERIOUSLY?! VICTORY Mosque?! WTF?!
Some idiotic fellow Americans STILL fail to grasp the notion that Muslims and 9/11 have nothing to do with one another. These are the same ignorant motherfuckers who forget most of the terrorists from that day were Saudis, continually calling for blood in Iraq and Afghanistan.
These people clearly don't know or care how insulting and incendiary their comments are to the millions of Muslims who have never supported or even met a terrorist.
Ethnic Cleansing in 2010
How about immigration? Are we REALLY discussing this again? Is our view of history really THAT myopic?! Does anyone remember a bastard by the name of Pete Wilson?!
Well I guess we have to clear it up for the ignorant- AGAIN. Listen this time, OK? You ready?
California's biggest source of revenue is AGRICULTURE. Number 2 is tourism and number 3 is entertainment and so on.
Who works in the fields that produces agriculture? Who works in the hotels we stay at and who cleans the bathrooms in Disneyland? Do they happen to be brown most of the time? I think so. Our entire fucking economy is based on laborers and you want to kick them all out?! Forget about the moral and political implications of such stupidity, but simply take into account our economy. Are we really THAT stupid?
In the words of Jack White:
white Americans, what?
nothing better to do?
why don't you kick yourself out
you're an immigrant too.
who's using who? what should we do?
well, you can't be a pimp
and a prostitute too.
To make things worse, some politicians are now calling for the repeal of the 14th Amendment because our founding fathers must have been fucking crazy to allow those born here to be automatic citizens, right? While this SHOULD seem like a ludicrous idea, some are actually considering it. Can you imagine if someone actually suggested we repeal the Second Amendment; the right to bear arms?! These fuckers would shit themselves.
I smell flags burning somewhere off in the distance.
Fascism in 2010
While Prop 8 was repealed, I still don't have faith in our state to do the right thing when it comes to recognizing homosexuals as equals. I simply do not see it happening in the near future, given our constant slaughtering of true individualism and expression. While we technically have multiple political parties, we have reverted to a centrist, nationalistic, corporate friendly state. We have failed to educate our children about the pitfalls of racism, prejudice and greed. Status is all that matters.
To put this into context, consider this:
I was playing a pick up soccer game in Berkeley the other day and I heard someone call another guy a faggot. Yup, in Berkeley. A faggot. You read that correctly.
Prejudice and Racism are alive and well in California.
Lady Gaga
Madonna, will you please come beat this woman? Who does she think she is, trying to be you?!
How is this Abercrombie-wearing, catholic school- attending, Bjork- biting bitch selling one record, much less millions?! Is it me, or is she just a little contrived?
Who told her she was sexy?
I heard somewhere she was a hermaphrodite. MAYBE THEN I would fuck her.
I saw a fat girl wearing some fishnets and a Lady Gaga t-shirt yesterday with her ass hanging out of some pleather pants rocking out on the BART and it occurred to me that these kids don't have anything to be proud of in terms of their generations' contribution to art. If this bitch is really making it, The New Kids on the Block and Vanilla Ice aren't really all THAT embarrassing.
"Work"
I play soccer for the state of California. Thats about all I do for a living. Since our legislators cannot get their shit together and pass a budget again, I do about 5 minutes of actual work a day. Its worse than the movie "Office Space", especially since I have no cool Indian friend or IT guy with whom to murder copiers.
The scientists here fart on me- enough said.
I don't think I have actually earned a paycheck in the last six months. Welcome to working for the state of CA. If we want to start kicking worthless people out of the state, lets start with my office.
Speaking of which, I shall go to a meeting now, where I will waste your tax dollars discussing things we have discussed three times already.
Wyclef
What a douche bag this fucking guy is! Instead of spending so much cash on gaining power and prestige, why doesn't the fucker work under the radar, supporting grass roots programs and political causes for his people? Why does he have to join the club of "look at me" artists? I hope his presidency is better than his song that postulates the notion.
Crusades of 2010
I think perhaps the most enraging article discussed the fact that many Americans are protesting the newly proposed Mosque to be built near Ground Zero. One only need surf the net a couple minutes to see the hate-filled rhetoric and protests, decrying the notion that Muslims may enjoy some of the rights extended to Christians, Protestants, Lutherans, and even Scientologists. This pic pretty much sums it up:
I mean seriously, woman? SERIOUSLY?! VICTORY Mosque?! WTF?!
Some idiotic fellow Americans STILL fail to grasp the notion that Muslims and 9/11 have nothing to do with one another. These are the same ignorant motherfuckers who forget most of the terrorists from that day were Saudis, continually calling for blood in Iraq and Afghanistan.
These people clearly don't know or care how insulting and incendiary their comments are to the millions of Muslims who have never supported or even met a terrorist.
Ethnic Cleansing in 2010
How about immigration? Are we REALLY discussing this again? Is our view of history really THAT myopic?! Does anyone remember a bastard by the name of Pete Wilson?!
Well I guess we have to clear it up for the ignorant- AGAIN. Listen this time, OK? You ready?
California's biggest source of revenue is AGRICULTURE. Number 2 is tourism and number 3 is entertainment and so on.
Who works in the fields that produces agriculture? Who works in the hotels we stay at and who cleans the bathrooms in Disneyland? Do they happen to be brown most of the time? I think so. Our entire fucking economy is based on laborers and you want to kick them all out?! Forget about the moral and political implications of such stupidity, but simply take into account our economy. Are we really THAT stupid?
In the words of Jack White:
white Americans, what?
nothing better to do?
why don't you kick yourself out
you're an immigrant too.
who's using who? what should we do?
well, you can't be a pimp
and a prostitute too.
To make things worse, some politicians are now calling for the repeal of the 14th Amendment because our founding fathers must have been fucking crazy to allow those born here to be automatic citizens, right? While this SHOULD seem like a ludicrous idea, some are actually considering it. Can you imagine if someone actually suggested we repeal the Second Amendment; the right to bear arms?! These fuckers would shit themselves.
I smell flags burning somewhere off in the distance.
Fascism in 2010
While Prop 8 was repealed, I still don't have faith in our state to do the right thing when it comes to recognizing homosexuals as equals. I simply do not see it happening in the near future, given our constant slaughtering of true individualism and expression. While we technically have multiple political parties, we have reverted to a centrist, nationalistic, corporate friendly state. We have failed to educate our children about the pitfalls of racism, prejudice and greed. Status is all that matters.
To put this into context, consider this:
I was playing a pick up soccer game in Berkeley the other day and I heard someone call another guy a faggot. Yup, in Berkeley. A faggot. You read that correctly.
Prejudice and Racism are alive and well in California.
Lady Gaga
Madonna, will you please come beat this woman? Who does she think she is, trying to be you?!
How is this Abercrombie-wearing, catholic school- attending, Bjork- biting bitch selling one record, much less millions?! Is it me, or is she just a little contrived?
Who told her she was sexy?
I heard somewhere she was a hermaphrodite. MAYBE THEN I would fuck her.
I saw a fat girl wearing some fishnets and a Lady Gaga t-shirt yesterday with her ass hanging out of some pleather pants rocking out on the BART and it occurred to me that these kids don't have anything to be proud of in terms of their generations' contribution to art. If this bitch is really making it, The New Kids on the Block and Vanilla Ice aren't really all THAT embarrassing.
"Work"
I play soccer for the state of California. Thats about all I do for a living. Since our legislators cannot get their shit together and pass a budget again, I do about 5 minutes of actual work a day. Its worse than the movie "Office Space", especially since I have no cool Indian friend or IT guy with whom to murder copiers.
The scientists here fart on me- enough said.
I don't think I have actually earned a paycheck in the last six months. Welcome to working for the state of CA. If we want to start kicking worthless people out of the state, lets start with my office.
Speaking of which, I shall go to a meeting now, where I will waste your tax dollars discussing things we have discussed three times already.
Wyclef
What a douche bag this fucking guy is! Instead of spending so much cash on gaining power and prestige, why doesn't the fucker work under the radar, supporting grass roots programs and political causes for his people? Why does he have to join the club of "look at me" artists? I hope his presidency is better than his song that postulates the notion.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Boxes.
I suppose I should start this here blog by explaining the title. First off, this is not intended to bitch about my lack of friends. This definitely isn’t of the self-help variety either. In fact, if you want to feel better about yourself after reading this, you should probably stop now and move on to Tony Robbins or something. I am the antithesis of that character. In reading this, you will most likely think I am an asshole or some kind of misanthrope with an agenda. There is no purpose to this other than to have a laugh at the expense of others and myself. Chances are I will be the only one amused. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Again, my issues do not lie with the quantity of friends in my life, having always been able to make friendly acquaintances with which I can share a joint or have a beer. The issue lies in my overall connection with folks in this area as it seems everyone fits neatly into their little box, compartmentalized among the other seemingly different boxes. After a while however, all one sees is a wall of cardboard.
There is the hipster box which can be interchangeably mixed with the young hippie one. While everyone has an inner hipster spirit, one must discern between silly impulses to wear something chic and sheer stupidity. Hipsters ignore the former and prance around town in their ultra cool glasses (for which most do not actually have a prescription), cool colored hair, hats, hard soled boots and skinny jeans. Tattoos are more ubiquitous than Mexicans on the Mission and you will find many of these folks
I have no use for these people.
While seemingly “cool” and “down”, MANY of these folks have no idea what counter culture is, just as alternative music sprung onto pop culture like a virus. Eventually everything was alternative. To what, I am still befuddled. How can one be alternative to anything if they look and act like everyone else in their environment? How the FUCK does Nickelback have a career?!
There are countless twelve year old boxes out there with hefty allowances supporting corporations imitating sub cultures in order to make a buck, the whole time diluting what generations before us worked so hard to achieve. The generation from the civil rights movement produced a spoiled, apathetic, lazy and myopic population of degenerate kids with no concept of sacrifice or principal. Now we look at a white kid with “dreads” wearing a Che Guevara T-shirt and call him a hippie, using words like “epic”. The shit makes me nauseous. As a side note- so does B.O. masked by Patchouli. Smelling like ass is not environmentalism. Its hard not to call bullshit on some of these posers sometimes.
In relegating people's character to boxes, I recognize the irony, hypocrisy, extremism; whatever you want to call it, in what I am saying. There is an entire other line of posers here who are so extreme, they can't even be classified in a political/social box. To these people, living any other way than they choose is unforgivable. These are the ones who publicly scold strangers for not bringing their own coffee mug into the shop in the morning rather than waste another cup. They come to your house, take a shit and then don't flush the toilet in the name of saving water.
I briefly dated one of these recently. I tried to look past all the crap because she really is a sweet, brilliant person with a lot to offer some guy or gal out there. First, someone has to scratch through all the fancy paint and I have no desire to be that person. I am not a Death Cab for Cutie fan at all, but I do appreciate the lyrics to the song "Tiny Vessels": Yeah she was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me.
Without allowing one's self to see human beings as they are, and not a box, he limits himself to truly getting to know others in a significant, lasting manner. At the same time, I can count my best friends on one hand and I like it that way. One of them is even a fucking Republican, but that is a discussion for another day.
I fit into Berkeley spectacularly.
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